She is clothed in grace, strength and effortless beauty. She has lived through heartbreak and history. A picturesque version of every thing I hope to one day be. She is kind, she is humble, she is Grandma.
But, before she was Grandma, Mom or even Mrs. McMillan, she was Lillian Josephine Earler. Born August 29 to working-class parents, George and Josephine, my grandma was a shy, reserved child from humble beginnings. Her father, George, worked for a contractor while her mother worked part time at a deli. "My mother made all our clothes," she says, stooped over the worn, wooden table, her hands folded neatly in front of her. "We didn't have much money back then."
Not having much money didn't stop my grandma and her sister, Margaret (known as Peggy), from having fun with what they did have. The small family enjoyed frequent trips to the beach with cousins and neighbors. "It wasn't like it is today, everyone knew everybody," she says, wiping her hands across the table. "I knew almost everybody all the way to the other side of town."
As a young woman, my grandma followed in the footsteps of her parents. She was married in 1952, and gave birth to her first child, Patricia, at 22.
Today, my grandma is the mother of six children, 19 grandchildren, and seven great grandchildren. Nearly every one of these children was brought up in the same small town as her.
However, when asked if she would've rather grown up in this town today, she is quick to respond. "No way," she says. "We didn't sit inside and play video games. We played games outside and read books. We made new friends every day. My family didn't even have a television when I was growing up."
Misuse of technology is one of the biggest debates between Millennials and the older generation. In 2012, US News reported that approximately 40 percent of American teens own an iPhone. By 2014, this number has risen to more than half to 60 percent of teens admitting to owning the device. This number has been rising steadily in the past two years.
Coming from a woman who was born before any kind of modern technology, my grandmother is reasonably shocked by the amount of time teens and young adults spend mindlessly scrolling through social networks each day. "It seems like such a waste of time," she says, crossing her arms.
My grandma has never been one to waste time after learning at a young age how precious each moment is with those we love. Having lost her father at age 16, her mother at age 48, her husband at age 58 and one of her six children at age 84, she is no stranger to how quickly a life can be taken.
"They were all gone so quick. That always bothered me," she says, "one minute they were here and the next..." she trails off.
When asked if there is anything left she'd like to do in life, there is no pause before her response. "No," she says immediately crossing her arms with a smile. "I'm happy."
As an 18 year old who's grown up in a realm of "life goals" twitter accounts, I was completely shocked by her answer.
"Really?" I gasped, "Nothing? Not anything?"
"No," she laughs leaning back in her chair.
I sat in shock.
"No," she smiled, "I'm happy, my kids are happy, my grandkids are happy. That's all I need."
And that's all there is to it.
It took a 30-minute conversation with my grandma to rethink everything I thought I wanted in the past few years. Fancy cars, mansions and expensive clothes are great, but those aren't the things that make a great life.
When my grandmother's loved ones passed, they passed well-loved by everyone around them. That's all we can really hope for in this life: to forgive those who hurt us, help those in need and love as much as possible.
I urge anyone with the opportunity to talk to their elders, you will learn more from them than any history class could ever teach you.
Special thanks to my grandmother, Lillian, for taking the time to talk with me this week.
Stay Golden, Kayla
