1. No Growth
The first signal in recognizing a relationship is at a plateau is its lack of growth. Relationships should continually be moving forward and a source of energy for both persons involved. This includes communication that is engaging, challenging, new, and always moving in the direction of where you want to be and who you want to be.
A lack of growth in short means that a relationship has stopped evolving, or has started backtracking. Both parties are unable to meet the wants and needs of the other person. Relationships that ignore they have reached a plateau or are moving backward may feel stuck, unsatisfied, bored, and frustrated. It is at times no one's fault if a friendship or relationship does not feel like it’s moving forward or healthy anymore, and can simply mean people are changing in different ways. It’s okay to acknowledge this without guilt. Relationships or friendships don’t always end with a huge falling out, but instead a mature outlook on the state of the relation and personal satisfaction.
2. Lack of Interest
Fostering and maintaining a relationship is a two-way street. This means there is efficient communication and understanding. The key word here is “efficient” because talking does not necessarily mean communing; two people may have completely different communication mediums that don’t suit one another. For example, one party may like to take their time to process information as the other one likes to address things head on. Or one person may enjoy texting more than in-person confrontation.
There are so many ways people address different topics, whether it’s straightforward, passive or through subtle messages. Sometimes couples and friends are able to find a middle ground and make it work, and other times the effort and common understanding are not there. This is normal. When it gets to the point where it takes more effort to simply communicate an idea than enjoy each others company then the relationship can be draining.
Additionally, if one partner is more willing to understand their partner than the other then altercations arise in the relationship. It can be frustrating for one party to attempt to get their point of view across and be communicative without being properly understood or not feel equal effort being put in on the other end. If one party has lost interest in communicating, understanding or continuing a relation, then it is time to walk away. Like I said it’s a two-way street, not a one-way. If both people aren’t putting in almost equal effort or have lost interest in making it work, then they have reached another plateau.
3. Draining energy
Relationships and friendships should be a source of energy. After spending time with a person it is normal and healthy to feel happy, calm, satisfied, fulfilled and excited. However, if a relation is draining you more than refueling you then there is an issue. It is not healthy to feel drained, tired, insecure, unsatisfied or in a funky mood after spending time with a person.
Hanging out with a significant other or a friend is supposed to be a positive experience, not a negative one. If you are feeling negatively towards how you feel after spending time with a person, you will in turn start to feel negatively toward the person himself or herself. If you notice a pattern of feeling down after hanging out with a person or insecure and questioning the foundation and healthiness of the relation, it is a signal to walk away. I’m not saying every hang out is supposed to be a magical occurrence; however, if there is an underlying pattern of dissatisfaction and feeling drained of your energy after you spend time with a person, then the healthiness of that relationship or friendship has reached a plateau.
If you feel anxious before hanging out with a person instead of excited this is another red flag because you should be able to feel calm with a person, not on the edge. Some things don’t have easy explanations, and feeling unsatisfied after spending time with a person can be one of them if there is not a particular reason for the feeling besides different personalities, wants and needs changing. These occurrences can’t be fixed with a single conversation and need time to heal and reboot.
Summed up:
So the truth of the matter is not all relationships and friendships have a dramatic falling out. Sometimes it’s a slow realistic journey of losing that spark, interest, and being unable to communicate well with one another. Other times it's one person trying harder to maintain it than the other and it becomes a one-sided relationship, but most of the time the same energy and exchange of energy is simply not there. Ultimately, if a friendship or relationship is not growing with you, or makes you feel held back, it is no longer a healthy relationship and it’s time to walk away. This is life. People are constantly changing and sometimes at different rates in different directions. There doesn’t need to be bad blood or negative feelings about the reality of a friendship or relationship running its course. Appreciate the beautiful moments and be smart enough to know when to walk away.
