Let's talk about role models. Regardless of where you grew up or who you grew up with, we all have them. There's inherent truth in the fact that young men and women are constantly searching for advice, whether they know it or not. Our search comes primarily from the art of observation; in the same way that an infant observes those around him walking on two legs and eventually learns how to stand on their own, we are stumbling on the proverbial legs of our minds, watching those around us make decisions that define some unwritten code of conduct.
Growing up, my father was my idol. He was the example to who I casted my eyes and from who I frequently sought advice. He's never been incapable of providing a plethora of wise quotes at any given time, but after recent reflection, I've realized that some of the most valuable lessons he has provided were taught without saying a word. Here's the first and arguably most valuable three lessons he has silently taught me:
1. Be humble.
My dad has been extremely successful. He'll never admit it, but he knows that I'm not the only person who looks up to him. He does his job with the skill and poise that few possess, and the various awards and news articles about him are a testament to his success. Any casual observer would view him as an average Joe with a goofy smile on his face. Those who know him see him as a hero, to which he would simply shake his head and smile. As someone who has trouble taking a compliment without letting it get to my head, I can only hope to have his poise in my life.
2. Be consistent/say what you mean.
In today's day and age, we confuse consistency with stubbornness. The excuse that "we're just learning to find our way" gives us room to go back on our word, and the idea that we're still discovering who we are becomes an excuse to push away friends, values, and traditions. We'll take back what we say, for fear of offending someone. If we refuse to take something back, we're labeled as stubborn or insensitive. Here's the problem: we are too quick to give ourselves away. We're so quick to say we'll do something, or that we love something, or that we love someone that we find ourselves with our heads spinning after having to take it back. Say what you mean. Once you've said it, stick to your word. My father is an example of "being a man of your word." Once he says something, you know he believes it, not through just his words, but his actions that follow.
3. Be part of something bigger than yourself.
My dad is a successful officer in the Navy and he does his job with others in mind, not himself. I can only hope to be half the man he is someday, not because of what he does, but because of why he does it. We live in a world full of self-interest. Self-help books, selfie Sundays, and the Twitter mindset have told us that we are the most important person in our own little world. My dad understands that. He knows that despite how he selflessly lives and works, the world around him will continue spinning with the idea that the self is the center of the universe. He is part of a force of heroes: a navy of men and women who will sail to the ends of the earth to protect those who remain at home.
We're no longer children. At this point in our lives, we are no longer confined to a play-pen and no longer constricted to observing certain people. We have a choice. I challenge you to take a look around, and see with whom you are surrounded. Who are your idols? To whom do you look? If you are the smartest, wisest, or nicest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. We never forget the ability to learn through observation. Choose this day from whom you will learn, because it's up to us to change the world.
