We all watch it: the show that's on at 11:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. There are so many episodes of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives that you never see the same one twice, and they are always interesting. After all, who doesn't want to watch a bleached blonde, spiky haired man with a larger than life personality and a gorgeous Camaro drive across the country and eat larger than life foods? I, myself, like to live my life vicariously through him with 100 percent less calories. Oh, what I wouldn't do to road trip across America eating my way through the states without worrying about the calories or my health. Needless to say, the food in every episode is very different, yet every episode is very much the same. These are the thoughts I have every time I watch the show.
1. That looks absolutely delicious.
I want it in my mouth right now.
2. It's probably 1,000 calories.
I can feel my arteries clogging just looking at that.
3. But so worth it.
I guess I can just go to the gym twice a day for the next three weeks.
4. I wonder what Guy Fieri looked like before the goatee and blonde hair.
Never fear, here's his Alpha Tau Omega fraternity composite.
5. How does he find these amazing tiny little restaurants?
Right on, brother.
6. I know he's a culinary gangster, but he still studied at a cooking school in France and sometimes he says things I don't understand.
What is a demiglace? I probably can't even pronounce that correctly.
7. I wonder when he'll say "Flavortown."
It wouldn't be an episode of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives if he didn't say it at least three times.
8. Will he ever find a place in my town?
He seems to find towns in the middle of nowhere, so when will he ever come near me?
9. I need Guy Fieri to be my food guide.
Show me the way to the good food, oh Master.
10. I totally understand why he has been made into a meme.
Oh, Guy. We had so much hope.
11. I wonder if his kids are embarrassed by him.
Guy Fieri isn't a normal dad, he's a cool dad.
12. As crazy as he might be, this show would be nothing without Guy.
You keep doing you, and we'll keep watching.
And now that the show is on Netflix, I can watch it even when it's not on TV. Thank you, Food Network, for producing such a gem of a show.
