Many college students in the world today are all too familiar with the dreaded concept of cold calls in class. We have all been there. The professor asks a question, then looks around the room with an evil glint in their eye as they imagine their next victim.
Then, the professor picks up the list in front of him or her, a list which contains the names of each and every student in the class. Just as the professor is about to pick someone from the list and make them endure unimaginable suffering as he or she calls their name and forces them to try and answer the question, a miracle occurs.
A brave soul, probably sitting in the front of the class, raises their hand voluntarily. The professor points to them and says "Yes?" at which point the angelic being answers the question, and therefore prevents some poor, unprepared soul from being randomly called on.
If you ask a professor about cold calling students during class, they will likely give you some ridiculous answer about what they call "The Socratic Method" and how it fosters learning and development in students by forcing them to come to class prepared.
Don't be fooled by this. It is a diabolical system practiced only by the most ruthless professors. What kind of monster would actually provide a way to ensure students are coming to class prepared? Even on days without a quiz or exam! There is no other term for it besides pure evil.
Luckily, we have a certain group of saints that save us from these ruthless instructors. Some may call them teacher's pets, but I prefer to call them as they really are. Heroes. So, to every student who regularly answers questions in class and therefore prevents others from being called upon, I just want to say, thank you. Thank you on behalf of all of us poor students who may or may not come to class adequately prepared on a given day. You are appreciated more than you know.
That moment in class when your hand goes up allows half the students in the room to breathe a gigantic sigh of relief. If I could, I would stand up and give you a round of applause every time it happens. You have taken one for the team, a team of classmates you probably have never even spoken to before. You are a truly selfless individual in every sense of the word and you have allowed college students to continue slacking off and getting blackout drunk on Monday nights. Well done.
Veterans Day passed recently and it gave us all a chance to thank the nations' veterans for all the sacrifices they have made. But if you ask me, you wonderful group of people who voluntarily answer questions in class and therefore prevent cold calls are just as deserving of having a special day to honor all the courage and bravery you have displayed in allowing lazy college students to continue to be lazy.
I'm about to go to class, and of course I have not done the reading for it. Luckily, I can count on heroic angels like you to answer any questions the professor has before I could theoretically get called on.
Thank you for all that you do. On behalf of college students everywhere, we salute you.
