Thirty Things You Can Do During the "Orange is the New Black" Opening Song
Start writing a post
Sports

Thirty Things You Can Do During the "Orange is the New Black" Opening Song

Because who actually wants to sit there and watch it?

11
Thirty Things You Can Do During the "Orange is the New Black" Opening Song

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has finally come: "Orange is the New Black" has finally released its third season on Netflix. Let's face it, we have been waiting for what feels like the entirety of an hour-and-fifty-minute IPS class for this. So, basically forever. And as if the time between the release of season two and season three wasn't long enough, cue the unnecessarily long opening song.

If you're unfamiliar with this intro, you either do not watch "OITNB," or you have just become insanely good at skipping to the precise point where the show starts. If you fall into the first category, please stop living such a successful, busy life. If you fall into the second category, please hold a seminar to teach us your ways.

The thing with this opening song is, well, it is about a minute long, and it isn't even enjoyable. So, for those of us who thought we were pretty decent at skipping intros, it was a slap in the face. Face, face, face, did the song's melody just change completely, face, face, high-pitched scream, slamming jail cell noise. Why is this a thing?

So, for those of us who binge-watch the series (everyone) and get insanely annoyed at how terrible we are at skipping the opening song, I have compiled a list of things we can do instead of sitting there and suffering through it.

1. Make a sandwich. We all gotta eat.

2. Brush your hair.

3. Paint your nails.

4. Read the dictionary front to back.

5. Build a house.

6. Cook a five-course meal.

7. Lose ten pounds.

8. Vacuum every house in your neighborhood.

9. Shave your legs and watch the hair grow back.

10. Make cheese (double points if you put it on your sandwich).

11. Train for a marathon.

12. Run in the marathon.

13. ...win the marathon?

14. Win the Stanley Cup (Go Blackhawks).

15. Write a novel.

16. Fall in love with your publisher.

17. Get engaged to said publisher.

18. Plan a wedding.

19. Start a family.

20. Go into debt (and cry).

21. Knit enough scarves to cover all of Russia.

22. Build a boat that can never sink.

*I'll never let go, Jack*

23. Invent a time machine. Stewie Griffin style.

24. Screw up the world order. Again, Stewie Griffin style.

25. Somehow fix it (probably by going back in time and not letting yourself invent the time machine in the first place).

26. Teach yourself telekinesis.

27. Discover an element.

28. Win on an episode of "Chopped."

29. Discover the meaning of life.

30. Become as fabulous as Kendall Jenner.

Who am I kidding? No one could become as fabulous as Kendall Jenner before the opening song ended.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

50770
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

32488
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955710
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180754
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments