Real talk: people LOVE to have a common enemy. For some reason, there is just something so completely satisfying about siting around with friends and bashing something everyone is mutually absolutely fed up with. As much as people like to have common interests, I have learned that people are almost more interested in having common dislikes with one another. I think I should know after all, I mean I am a high school girl. And as you might already know, high school girls are rather notorious for the joy they take in condescending chit chat. Now I am not one to gossip, in fact I dislike gossip very much; however, I am still able to see the beauty in the bond we create with one another through our daily ranting over common struggles.
Here's one thing you and I can go ahead and agree to hate on: pain. Lets bond over the fact that we both dislike feeling it. Physically, emotionally, spiritually: none of it is fun. You and I could sit around for maybe an hour or two and rant about all the awful times we had felt hurt and tell a bunch of broken bone stories and by the end of it all I'm sure we would feel a much deeper connection than we did to start with.
While we are on the topic of things that are painful.....One of my best friends recently turned 18, and did what any 18 year old girl should do. She got her conch pierced. For those of you who don't know- a conch piercing is one of the most painful ear piercings you can get. Yeah I know, ouch. Pain.
But believe it or not, my friend did not immediately rally up all of her closest friends to brag about how much it hurt or how much pain it caused her. In fact, she didn't even flinch when she was getting her ear pierced. She stayed calm, cool, and collected.
"Didn't feel anything did you?" The lady who was doing the piercing questioned my friend as she finished up with her earring. My brave friend quickly confirmed. The lady went on to explain that the level of pain people feel during piercings has a lot to do with the head space we allow ourselves to get in. Or as she put it "if I tell you it's gonna suck, it's gonna suck; if I tell you it won't hurt, it won't."
And perhaps this tiny tidbit of insight from the lady who pierced my friends ear is wiser than it might first sound. As much as we all love to hate on pain, and just love to hate on the things we hate in general, perhaps we really don't have to. Sure it's nice to get worked up about things every once in awhile, but I can tell you that it is much more worthwhile to talk ourselves down a bit.
I was extremely impressed when my friend handled such intense pain with such immense bravery. And in the same way I think people tend to be much more impressed when we can lead a discussion away from how much we hate the things we hate and towards how we can be brave about the things we struggle with.
We are united by many things, pain and suffering being one of them. We hate it; we do. However, we can also be untied in our bravery and our common goal of overcoming the things we hate. Rant sessions are good, yes, I agree! But overcoming what we rant about in these sessions of banter is even grander. Sit still and brave and unflinching as the next venting session comes heading your way! Make sure you are uniting with people in more than just the way that you dislike certain things.
