Throughout our lives, most of us will have numerous relationships. Unfortunately, however, not all of them -- and maybe even the majority of them -- will not be healthy. A year ago, I was not the same person I am today, and a large part of that is because of the person I chose to spend the majority of my time with. Don't worry, this article isn't just me bragging about my boyfriend (he's pretty great, though); it's about the things that I not only realized for myself, but the things that I found myself sharing with other girls who hadn't realized what I had. What I am going to share is not just about your significant other, it's about you, too. Here are some of the things I wish I had been told before I started dating, starting with the biggest one that I sometimes still struggle with.

It is always okay to cry.

I have always been the biggest crybaby. Honestly, I cry at everything. I cried a lot as a child and just assumed I would cry less as an adult. Nope. Now I just cry about actual things (for the most part). Now, I'm not really talking about crying at books or movies; I'm talking about crying when you're upset for one reason or another that involves your significant other (SO). Whether you're crying because you feel guilty, because they hurt your feelings, because you're angry at them, IT IS OK. Until nearly one year ago, I had never been told by any peer (and definitely not by a boyfriend) that it is perfectly OK to cry. The most messed up part? I used to apologize for it. I frequently apologized for something that nine times out of 10 I had no control over. And not once did I question it, because somewhere along the way, I had gotten it into my head that crying was bad, or that it made me weak, and that is not true. The first time I cried about something in front of my boyfriend (I don't even remember why, but I will always remember this), he looked at me like I was crazy and asked me: "Why are you sorry?" and I stopped blubbering for half a second and looked at him and just said, "I don't know."

Now I know that I am a strong individual; I know I am an intelligent human being, and I know my own value. So how is it possible that I thought crying made me anything else? Tears are just how my brain handles some of my more intense emotions and stress, and while I know that crying doesn't make me any less intelligent or worthy of respect, I still struggle with accepting the way I handle emotion. I still apologize for my tears even though I don't need to, because it has been so hard-wired into my brain that because I am crying, I am a nuisance. I'm nearly a year into the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, and every now and again he has to remind me that my emotions and the way I express them are valid. He still reminds me how silly it is to make myself feel even worse than I already did by beating myself up about being upset. Read that again. If you're crying, you have enough to be upset over without making it harder on yourself. I'll end this tirade with this: If your significant other makes you feel guilty or bad about yourself for not being able to control your tears, they do not have your best interest at heart. I'm not trying to say they should drop everything and forgive you, or agree with you just to make you feel better, but no matter what the problem is, they should not use your emotions against you. That is manipulation, and that is abusive and wrong.

Your wants and needs are not a nuisance.

This is the one I find myself telling my friends the most. I can't express how many times I've listened to a friend complain about how their SO doesn't do something basic like FaceTime them once in a while, or doesn't really show much affection, and most of the time when I ask them why they don't just talk to them about it if it bothers them so much, they say 'I don't want to bother them.' First off, if your boyfriend or girlfriend gets annoyed by you 'bothering them' with your problems, they are not a good person to be with. The most important thing in a relationship is the ability to communicate about whatever you want with your partner, and if you feel like you can't talk to your partner about your day, or even worse, about things actually concerning your happiness and your relationship... Do you really want to be in that relationship? Do you want to hide your feelings from them and make yourself unhappy? I'm not gonna lie, I've done this too. I've gone out of my way to do nice things for my boyfriends before and then not wanted to ever ask them to do anything for me in return. I wouldn't want to ask them if we could talk a little more frequently or to go grab something for me, because girls (more so than boys) are indirectly told that if you ask your SO to do stuff for you, or you vent to them about your problems, they'll stop liking you. I have no idea where I learned that, but it's a hard habit to break for most girls.

A SO is supposed to be someone you can open up to and rely on. Secondly, your wants and needs are valid. End of story. A large chunk of the time, if something they do is bothering you or you just want a little bit more from them and you tell them about it calmly and clearly, they'll just say 'Oh, okay, I didn't realize that bothered you. How can I fix it?' It's never as big a deal as you think it will be. Even if they don't feel comfortable doing what you're asking for whatever reason, they should be willing to listen to you and want to understand where you're coming from and vice versa. If your friend came to you upset because her boyfriend teased her and it hurt her feelings without them realizing it, wouldn't you just tell her to be honest? Talking to our SOs about what we need/want from them shouldn't be a hard thing to do, even if what you have to talk about is an uncomfortable topic. You shouldn't feel scared to ask them to do things for you. I cannot stress enough how OK it is to want your things from your partner and vice versa, and that if you need something from them to be happier and more secure in your relationship, JUST TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. I'll say it again once more: you are never a nuisance for wanting things from your significant other; you're just human.

Just because they don't want to talk about something doesn't mean they don't trust you.

It can be really hard to open up to people, especially in newer relationships, so don't feel insecure if your SO doesn't feel ready to open up to you about certain topics. People with trust issues or particularly difficult pasts may have a harder time talking about very personal things, so don't pressure them about it and in time they will more than likely open up to you. This goes both ways; if you have something you aren't yet comfortable sharing, then your SO shouldn't pressure you into telling them. Never feel guilty about keeping something personal to yourself. A SO is supposed to be someone you can share everything with, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to tell them every little detail of your life. There's a big difference between maintaining your privacy and hiding things from your partner. Maintaining your privacy isn't about the other person, it's about your comfort, whereas hiding things from your partner is typically means you feel guilty about something you have done or are doing, and that could be detrimental to the relationship.

Healthy relationships make you feel good, not tear you down.

Lastly, and most importantly, your relationship should never make you feel insecure, unhappy, stressed out, or unsafe. A healthy relationship shouldn't make you feel those things for longer than it takes for you and your SO to fight and then move on. However, you should never, ever, ever feel unsafe in the presence of your partner, no matter how angry or upset they are. That being said, if your relationship stresses you out or makes you consistently unhappy, then it's time to step back and take a long hard look at your relationship, your partner, and yourself, because something isn't right with this picture. Over the past year, my self-confidence and overall happiness has gone up exponentially, and that's not just because of my relationship, but that was certainly a contributing factor to it. Healthy relationships will always do more to help you feel good rather than make you feel bad. You and your SO are supposed to build each other up and support one another's dreams and ambitions. It's a two-way road, but sometimes you don't always get out what you put in, which is why communication is so important.

To whoever is reading this: I hope this advice had some impact on you, and that you feel more confident in communicating with your SO. Remember that what you want is always important and that you are never a bother for having emotions. Don't let anyone take you for granted, and find someone who treats you the way you deserve!