30 Things To Say To Siri When You're Bored

30 Things To Say To Siri When You're Bored

Because we have our very own virtual assistant.

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Siri is probably my most favorite thing about owning an iPhone. I'm sure these questions can be used on the Android version. I was pleasantly surprised at some of the responses I got today. I made it to where my Siri is a British man and it's awesome. Here are some of the responses I got when I interrogated Siri.

1. What is 0/0?

2. What does the fox say?

3. I see a little silhouetteo of a man

4. Will you marry me?

5. Will you go on a date with me?

6. What is the Matrix about? (1999)

7. Do you know HAL?

8. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

9. Why did the chicken cross the road?

10. What phone is the best?

11. How do I look?

12. Tell me a joke

13. Why did Apple make you?

14. Can you dance?

15. When will pigs fly?

16. What is the meaning of life?

17. Ok Google

18. Siri, I love you

19. Siri, I am your father

20. Make me a sandwich

21. Windows or Apple?

22. Where is Elvis Presley?

23. Where is Elvis Presley? Response 2

24. Where did I put my keys?

25. What are you doing later?

26. Are you on Facebook?

27. Take me to your leader

28. What do you dream about?

29. Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

30. Am I going to die alone?

31. Testing testing

Cover Image Credit:

Hannah Smith

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When God Gives A Girl A Brother

He gives her a best friend.
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My brother is only 18 months younger than I am, but he's also at least a foot taller than me. Growing up with someone so close to my age has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Yes, there was a time when I thought every single little thing he did was annoying and his feelings towards me were mutual. Yes, we still get into arguments and disagreements. But for the most part, we enjoy each others company. When God gives a girl a brother, He gives her...

1. A listener

I always have someone to talk to. No matter what, when, or where. Some of my favorite moments are spent chatting my brother's ears off while he absent-mindedly nods and continues to play x-box. Sometimes he just listens and doesn't say anything. Sometimes he gives me long replies. He always knows just how to react to what I am saying to him, which is why I tell him almost everything.

2. A protector

When I think about the man that my brother has become, it seriously brings tears to my eyes. He's so big!! How did this happen? I can remember when I was little and could boss him around and he would actually do whatever I said. Now I'm scared that if he hugs me too hard, I might break in half. My brother cares about me, and lets me know it. I'm so thankful to know that he is there for me no matter what and would do anything to keep me from harm.

3. A dance partner

Another favorite memory is dancing to Juju on that beat in the kitchen while mom is cooking dinner (or dancing with us). Or any other time any other song is on... in any other place... LOL. My brother and I are different in a lot of ways, but we both have no problem busting a move together.

4. A Sonic date

"Hey, wanna go get a sonic drink?" "Yeah, if you're buying!" This is a typical conversation for us, and he actually really does usually buy my food! (With mom's credit card sometimes, does that still count?)

5. An example

Being the older sister, I sometimes feel like I have let my brother down in a lot of ways in that he is probably an example to me more than I am to him. He is incredibly smart, talented, and hard working. Kids FLOCK to this guy, and he has the most creative mind ever. Seriously, I'm so nervous that my future kids are going to like their funny uncle more than me. He's way cooler than I am, and I want to be just like him when I grow up.

6. Comic relief

If you've never heard a "Lane Prevett story," pull up a chair. I will be glad to make you cry from laughing so hard. There's no way you can spend time with him and not laugh. And that, to me, is the best kind of person to be.

7. A best friend

My brother is a lot of things, but my favorite thing about him is that he is my best friend. Yes, we aggravate each other. Sometimes he plays his music too loud, and sometimes I take up all the internet so that he can't play video games. But I know that he would do anything for me, and he knows the same goes for him.

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16 Struggles That Give All Retail Workers Nightmares, Even After They've Worked Their Last Shift

Let's just hope my boss doesn't see this.

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If you haven't worked in retail, count your blessings. This summer will mark my third official retail job, and let's just say I am less than excited to return to the dreaded retail employee lifestyle. There are so many cons that we have to put up with on the daily, is it even worth the minimum wage salary?

1. Waking up every weekday morning before your shift and contemplating whether the money is worth it

"Is dragging myself out of bed worth my cheque of $500 before taxes?"

2. And if you're lucky enough, being blessed with the task of opening

Two words: kill me.

3. Having to fake a smile for the entirety of your shift.

And if that isn't bad enough, having your amazing customers remind you to "smile" while you're internally just trying not to lose your shit.

4. Being stuck with the lazy coworkers on your shift

I don't have time to do my job and also teach you how to do yours. Next.

5. And the worst one of all, dealing with the most absurd questions from your customers

No, I won't give you something for free because you have been shopping here for years. I can give you a store credit card, though.

6. Even worse? Having to listen to the weirdest stories from your customers

I once had a customer narrate her entire infidelity and divorce story to me, and I awkwardly had to sympathize while just trying to print her papers. At one point she reached over the register and tried hugging me. Not a fun time.

7. Being yelled at during rush times when you're trying your best

Yes, lady, I understand the line is long. But you're going to have to wait on it just like everyone else. I'm not going to roll out a special expedited red carpet for you.

8. Explaining something to a customer and receiving the "Can I talk to your manager?" bit every time

Everything I am telling you was taught to me by my, surprise, manager! But I guess the arguing is worth it when we laugh about the whole thing in the break room later.

9. Constantly having to clean up mysterious messes

Maybe it's because my parents raised me better, but whenever I go shopping I try to refrain from making a mess. Customers I have encountered, however, seem to enjoy messing up everything they come in contact with.

10.  I'm sorry that your coupon is expired

I really am. But I guarantee you, no matter how many times I scan your coupon, it will not work.

11.  Customers assuming that you know every damn thing

I once had a customer ask me if I knew who the CEO of my employer was, and when I said no, he told me I needed to do "my research." Yes, thank you, I'll be researching all right — on how to get the heck out of this place.

12.  Not being informed of how much math goes into the job

All the math I have learned, all the way up to Calculus 2, magically disappears from my mind when I'm at the register and need it more than I have ever needed it in my life. Suddenly I don't know how many nickels go in to a dollar.

13.  When customers try getting in despite the very large "CLOSED" sign and locked doors

I promise you, no matter how many times you yank at the door and yell at me to open it, I'm not. It's kind of entertaining watching you go at it, though.

P.S. We are required to log off all cash registers immediately after the set closing time, so there is no point of even trying to get in. You can't buy anything.

14.  Having to stay over your designated shift

Once I was forced to do a 12-hour shift without being informed of prior because one of my coworkers decided to call out "sick." She also ended up getting fired the following week, but I'mma sip my tea.

15.  Talking crap about your workplace with your favorite coworkers

You'll be surprised as to how quickly people can bond over annoying customers and shitty bathrooms. Having great coworkers honestly makes working a billion times more tolerable.

16.  The time we dream about all day and look forward to impatiently: when your shift is finally over

Once I clock out and my uniform is off, I am also mentally clocked the fuck out. Whatever chaos is happening is not my problem. Good luck to those clocking in, though.

If you work in retail, kudos to you, because honestly we're really forced to deal with the worst shit on a daily basis, there is no escape. And if you haven't worked in retail, perhaps this helps you gain insight on our nightmarish lives — so if you're mean to your cashiers, cut it out.

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