During my freshman year of college, I was given the diagnosis of having a severe anxiety disorder. At this time, I was beginning to fail classes and getting out of bed and doing anything outside of my small dorm room were the worst things in my mind.
I had known that I have had an anxiety disorder for years, and there are things I wish I could have told people.
1. Saying things to me like "calm down" or "just get over it" does not help someone with anxiety.
It is harder than anyone expects or assumes. It is impossible in someone's head to do any of these things because this is not how their brain works.
2. Anxiety disorders really impact someone's self-worth.
You are constantly thinking about how it controls you and your life. It is hard to feel like you are worth it when you feel like you do not control your life.
3. When you make unnecessary comments about how quiet or awkward we are acting, we notice and you aren't helping us ease up.
4. Having a positive mental attitude doesn't mean the person's mental health isn't negatively impacting their mental wellbeing at the time.
This person could look totally fine and be laughing on the outside, but on the inside, they could be at war with themselves and their anxiety.
5. A person with an anxiety disorder can be tired because their anxiety makes them tired. Stop downplaying them being tired.
It doesn't matter if they have slept or not. With their brain constantly running and constantly thinking, it wears them out and that is OK. They are allowed to feel this way.
6. They sometimes need a lot of reassurance that people still want them around or are not mad.
By hearing someone say "You are fine" or "Your feelings are valid," they feel better at that immediate time that they are not a burden.
7. Sometimes it feels like basic daily tasks affect us the most.
I am guilty of not being able to get out of bed once a week due to anxiety and what the day's tasks bring. Laundry is a huge anxiety factor for me.
8. Get to know what makes someone's anxiety spike.
Different things will set their anxiety off.
9. Anxiety is a vicious cycle.
You begin to worry about one thing, then you worry about being worried, then you become worried about worrying over a worry, and so on and so so forth.
10. Sometimes a person won't even know what they need to calm down.
All you can do is be there for that person.
11. Anxiety manifests itself differently in every person who has an anxiety disorder.
A common side effect is depression, but that isn't the only side effect that anxiety rears its ugly head in.
12. Because of anxiety, I have let good things go and control my life choices.
13. We might be acting dramatic, but it is because in our heads, something is a bigger deal than it really is.
Personally, when I was young, my close friends would call me a "drama queen" in a derogatory way and it still haunts me and affects me to this day. They didn't understand what was going on in my head and why things were such a big deal to me. Even though we are no longer friends, it is one of the first things I think of when I am having an anxiety attack.
14. Having anxiety and having an anxiety disorder are two separate things.
An anxiety disorder is when an overly anxious feeling impacts your ability to live a regular life. A little anxiety before a test or first date is not the same thing. This feeling follows you to your job, the grocery store, driving, social events, and literally anywhere you can ever be in a day.
