In Eddie Murphy’s standup comedy, “Raw”, the comedian speaks of his disdain for shy women. “If I ever get married, I got to marry somebody with some personality,” he states. You can watch the clip here (warning: content not appropriate for certain viewers):
But not all quiet people are like the ones Murphy described. Here are six things quiet people want everyone to know:
1. We are not creepy or weird
Not all quiet people are plotting an elaborate scheme or hiding a body in an abandoned storage unit. Most of the time, we are so deep in thought that we don’t even realize we’ve been silent for quite some time.
2. We aren’t boring
Shy people are ignored on the basis that they are dull or lack substance. However, this is only a common misconception. Though shy individuals aren’t necessarily the life of the party, they can be some of the most intuitive and witty people to converse with. It sometimes takes a few encounters with a shy person to get them to show their true colors, but if you try, you’ll find they are just as entertaining as their louder counterparts.
3. We like to be included
Our boisterous peers will often only talk amongst themselves, sharing information and making plans without consulting the rest of the group. This is usually frustrating for the bulk of the quiet ones, who usually have input, but are unsure how to interject without disrupting the flow of the conversation. If you’re the shy one in a group, don’t fade into the background if you have something to say. Express your thoughts and wishes. If you’re usually the more vocal one is a group, be aware of those who don’t say much and listen to their opinions.
4. We’re great at keeping secrets
Okay, this one might reinforce Eddie Murphy's point a little bit. Talkative individuals are great, but when you want to entrust someone with private information, they are sometimes the last people you want to confide in. If you want truly want your secrets to be buried under the rug, your quiet friend has your back.
5. We dislike being asked why we are so quiet or why we’re so serious
Being told to “smile” or “say something” is probably one of the most irritating things for those of us who are shy. My personal favorite is when I’m asked, “Are you okay? You seem upset.” This comment causes me to think of a sea of snarky remarks that I would never dare say aloud.
Still, here is the bottom line: being quiet or shy is a personality trait, not a medical condition. Shy people do not want to be “treated” or “cured” of the silence that is plaguing them. We want to thrive in our environment without having change who we are.
6. We value one-on-one conversation
We do actually know how to talk to other humans. Sure, we might not do so hot in a room full of people, but shy people usually flourish in a one-on-one situation. Not only are we terrific listeners, we are often able to give a perspective that cannot be offered by others.
