1. So... What are you planning to do with your major?

Beats me. Good thing I'm still a student

2. But you have a backup plan right?

My plan is kinda just to find a job I enjoy instead of sacrificing my happiness for slightly more financial security

3. You know that psychology is one of the lowest paying majors, right?

4. The job availability for psychology is so low 

I'm aware that the job-market is highly saturated with psych majors. I'm confident I'll be able to find work somewhere due to the applicability of my degree.

5. Oh yea, but what ELSE are you studying

This is all I've got for you, folks. Take it or leave it.

6. Freud, am I right?

7. Hahahaha so are you, like, psychoanalyzing me right now?

8. Well good thing, because this family/I/we could sure use a psychologist!

Um, the personal connection is actually a conflict of interest sooo...

9. So you want to be a psychologist/psychiatrist?

Believe it or not, there is much more out there for psych majors to do than these two jobs.

10. Isn't that kind of a depressing job?

Maybe, but so is your office desk job, Susan.

11. That degree will be worthless without a doctorate

Look, even if I plan to go to medical school (which again, isn't necessary for every psych career) I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

12. THAT'S what you/your parents pay all that money for?

13. Don't you want a real job?

Well, seeing as I'm not a child playing make-believe, yes, I would like to get a real job. Relevance?

14. Oh, that's the easy major 

And this is basically all they think you do at school

15. So what do you think about (dives into personal history of trauma)?

I'm still a student, I'm on vacation, please take this to the pros.