1. "Fight me."
Ah, the most classic.
The initial "oh, you do martial arts?" is immediately followed by: "let's fight then.”
I’ll pass.
2. "Could you beat someone with a gun?"
Uh, provide the context.
Are they alone? Are we standing close together or several yards away from one another?
What kind of gun is it? Do I have anything in my hands? Is my back against the wall?
Is there cover? Are there other people around?
There are many important factors that could affect that kind of exchange other than my martial arts knowledge.
3. "Can you do that one thing from that one movie?"
Firstly, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Secondly, no, probably not.
4. "Why don't you do something safer... like Zumba?"
No comment.
5. "You must be violent."
I myself might be slightly violent, sure.
But that has nothing to do with martial arts.
If anything, training has made me less violent.
But seriously though, martial arts actually discourages violence, despite popular belief.
6. "I bet I could beat you in a fight."
It’s even worse when followed by: "but I don't hit girls."
Okay.
7. Constant Bruce Lee noises.
Walking by someone while wearing any sort of uniform often elicits unnecessary and unwarranted "wa-taaaaaa!" sounds effects.
These noises are often paired with The Karate Kid's crane pose, in case you were wondering.
8. "I bet that wood isn't even real."
Here, would you like to break it with your bare hand instead?
9. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
Life is dangerous.
10. "I bet you paid for your blackbelt."
With my blood, sweat, and tears, sure.
But seriously, yes, it cost money.
So did your college degree. Does that not count as legitimate, either?
11. "So, if I came up to you in a dark parking lot and grabbed you like this, could you..."
Yes.
Yes, I could.
Feel free to release me now.
