Since I was born, I lived in the type of town where most people knew most people. The type of town where nine times out of 10 you'd run into someone you knew when doing your grocery shopping at the local Walmart. It was a comfortable town, but I had to leave.
I graduated from the only high school in my hometown in Virginia when I was 17 and moved to Florida to attend school just a month later. It was exciting getting to live somewhere else for once, but it was also way more terrifying. I moved all on my own without knowing anyone. I kind of fell into a rut that I just couldn’t get out of — but I don't regret it at all.
Leaving that sense of comfort was very hard for me to do. I knew that before I decided to go through with my decision, but what I didn't know was how lost I'd end up being. See, when living in a small town and with almost everyone knowing who you are, you kind of get placed on a pedestal. You are expected to be something or someone that everyone else wants. Which leaves you to ask yourself what it is that you want or who do you want to be, and if you're anything like me you try to please everyone except yourself.
Being a stranger to everyone once I moved made me feel happy and also confused. I was confused because I'm used to people expecting me to be certain way and do certain things; when I moved here I didn't have that. I didn't have expectations or standards. For the first time I questioned who I was, what I liked and disliked, I questioned everything. I felt as if I was living in a stranger's body that I couldn't come to know for the life of me. So, I was forced to figure out who I was and now, after some time, I finally have.
Now, I don't think one can figure out who they are and stick to that image of themselves forever. I believe that we're strangers to ourselves at times because we evolve. Our taste in music, books, people — everything — is constantly changing. I used to think that wasn't normal, but it is and it's OK.
I've learned so much by being on my own. I've learned and will continue to learn who I am as a person. I've learned you can't always trust everyone you meet. Friends come and go and you lose touch with people sometimes, but that doesn't mean that you can't reconnect in the future.
Finally and most importantly, I've learned that it's okay to be happy and to love who you are. Especially if you're not completely sure who that is yet. If you aren't sure about who you are, take advantage of it. Allow yourself to explore and try new experiences. Without a doubt you'll be one step closer to answering that question of "Who am I?"
