Warning: There are spoilers in this article.
The book Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur, released in November 2014 as a self-published work, has garnered a lot of attention in the past couple of years. It is a New York Times bestseller, and for good reason. This collection takes you on a journey of violence, abuse, love, loss, pain, femininity, and identity. The book is in four main sections: "the hurting," "the loving," "the breaking," and "the healing." Each chapter serves as a way to express the different pains Kaur went through during these stages.
The book is filled with beautiful and simple line drawings to complement the poetry on the pages. The poetry is equally as simple, but so powerful. In just a few words, Kaur can crush your heart, build it back up, and have it torn up again. There is no denying the pain and confusion behind her words. This book navigates her thinking in deeply troubling and graphic scenes.
The book starts with graphic descriptions of her rapist violating her body when she was a young child. Her confusion and pain are evident in the words she uses and the way she questions her society. She asks the questions we all have been lately wondering: does society even care? Why is it that people turn the other cheek and allow this to happen? Are men allowed to do this? Why can we not stop them? Her rage stemmed around men, is fueled by her fear of them. As she asks these questions, her anger becomes something more, something like understanding and realization. She finds solace in her strong mother, who puts up with the abuse.
As we see her move through this pain into a loving stage, she slowly but surely learns how to truly love, and learns how to accept love as well. She begins breaking out of the pain and understanding herself. She finds beauty in the body and realizes her self-worth. She starts to enjoy spending time with a man and falls in love. But things start to get dark and difficult. The pieces get longer and sadder, continuously emphasizing the weariness of having been in such a damaging relationship.
"The breaking" comes too soon after a brief moment of happiness. "The breaking" leaves Kaur to figure out how to console her broken heart. She left her lover feeling like being in the relationship took away parts of herself. She not only realized her own pain, but recognized her ex-lover has pain, too. It was interesting, though, the way she put it. She felt bad for him not being able to forget the wonderful love they had and thinking that she was the only one that he would ever truly love. From this. then, came the healing.
"The healing" is a beautiful section about self-love and self-respect. It is a largely feminist section that talks about society’s misconceptions poisoning the minds of people, telling them that beautiful women were taught they were ugly. Kaur’s powerful messages are said in such pure and concise words, but they emanate generations of pain and suffering with the weight of society’s expectations.
This book has taught and reminded me of many things. One, that rape and abuse is a topic that needs to be talked more about. People should understand what these words mean and how to battle the trauma of it and learn that there are people who understand and want to help. Two, that we must love ourselves before we can begin to love others. Do not forget who you are while you are learning to love someone else, too. Third, that there is no helping feeling pain. Take it in and turn it into something beautiful: art, poetry, writing, expression. There is release when you look for it. Four, that even if society says you are wrong, question them. Let your voice be heard and stand your ground. Root yourself in your faith and do not just accept what you are told. Do not be afraid to question others. Lastly, that through all of the ugly and the horror, there is something golden and sweet if you just look hard enough.
For more information on Rupi Kaur and her work, check out her instagram, twitter, facebook, and website.
