Things I Heard in a Public Bathroom
There's like a Venn diagram of
sounds you make when you poop and
sounds you make when you masturbate.
Some of us can do both quietly.
There's a big difference between
the things your dog should see and
the things your roommate should see.
I would rather be the dog.
There's this eternal struggle between
people who wash their hands and
people who don't.
Is soap even good for me?
Kenny G is at the Rose and I went to pee
then saw some shit I can't unsee.