I'm not saying that because I had surgery 4 days ago that I'm an expert now, but I do have a few things that I've enjoyed in the last week or so.
1. Actually show up to visit.
Having company was probably the most appreciated thing during the entire process. It's so nice to see familiar faces that love you. There were times that I had taken medicines to put me to sleep, but as long as someone showed up when I was awake-it was completely welcome! Also, when I had to excuse myself because I was too exhausted, everyone was very understanding and let me go into my room to sleep.
2. Bring a new blanket or pillow.
Usually, it takes a few days after surgery to get back up on your feet. Bringing a pillow or a blanket to someone just increases their comfort levels and overall happiness. Especially if they are soft. Soft is key. Also, they'll probably think of you every time that they use it and feel loved.
3. Be understanding.
Please understand that the person just had surgery and probably spent some time vomiting, crying, and or wallowing in pain for days on end. They probably can't take care of you every need, as they can't even take a shower by themselves right now (depending on the surgery).
4. Don't pressure them to eat.
Eating is so hard. I don't know why, but your appetite sometimes goes away. But whatever you do, don't pressure someone into eating too much food. Unless it's life-threatening. Again, I'm not a doctor.
5. Pretend to be interested.
Even if all of the surgery talk isn't what you want to talk about, pretend to listen and be concerned anyways. That person just went through something major in their lives and probably needs to get it all out of their system by talking about it and the progress that they're facing every day.
6.Invite them out to do fun things.
Even if they can't go, the invite is always nice! Don't just assume that someone is a living vegetable and wouldn't like to go out! You never know how well they're feeling or how far they've progressed since you've last talked.
7. Remind them to believe in themselves.
Recovery is hard. Everyone needs a hype-man during this process because sometimes the smallest of tasks are the most difficult. Putting on my shoes? Difficult. Trying to make a meal? Nope. Showering? Not by myself. Regardless of the situation, hype up your surgery friend with random encouragements.
8. Send encouraging or funny text messages.
This might be in the category of "how to be a good friend", however, it really is the small things that matter. If you can't physically be there in person, send your friend (or relative) a quick text every few days to check up on them! They appreciate it more than you know.
9. Allow some space.
Your BFFL (best friend for life), or relative, might be a little under the weather sometimes. Just know that they may need their space sometimes and it's nothing against you. It's truly part of the recovery process.
10. Don't expect them to do physical activity any time soon.
Walking is hard enough. Don't tell me that I need to get back into the gym.
11. Take pictures.
They might be too drugged up to appreciate it, but I promise you, these progress pictures will really mean something one day. And if not, you now have some great blackmail.
