People are dynamic creatures. No matter how much a person seems set in their ways, it is a law of nature that they will change over time, even if such a change does manifest itself in the minutiae of life, like a changeover from preference of tea brand or laundry day. However, as hundreds of thousands before our generation have experienced, some changes don't really hit until the last child embarks off on their first year of college, and the alterations in the lifestyles of parents who finally have the nest all to themselves become apparent. Seeing these changes can spawn many different reactions in the returning child/children- face palms (when you see your parents have branched out a bit in their fashion choices to embrace that 'but I still feel 20' look), shock (at the sight of a 'sold' sign on your childhood home, as your parents finally decided to buy that little beach cabana in Jamaica), confusion and worry (you were pretty sure you only had one family pet cat when you left, not the 20 or so lounging about as if to fill the hole you left). Whatever emotional rollercoaster you and the rest of the returning children out there may embark upon, and changes in your once-so responsible caregivers you must accept, everybody usually ends up coming to the same eventual state of acceptance that such changes are, in all likelihood, for the better. (Probably not for the children, but hey- they're getting old, they deserve to wear that plunging v-neck if it makes them happy.)
Interested in just how much some parents do change when all their children are gone and they (more often than not) find they have more time now than they know what to do with, I recount in the following some of the more bizarre developments people coming home from their first year away have found in their parents' traits, habits, and activities.
1. "My dad's yard projects took a weird, possibly mentally unstable turn"- Many adults enjoy gardening and working out in the yard in their free time as a way to spruce up their property and relax in the calming scents of nature. And when most people find that their hillside restoration project has turned into their everything, they know they should probably put the trowel down and find some other hobbies. However, this dad was not most people. Having recently had all his children fly out of the nest in one fell swoop, he was most likely looking for a way to fill that extra time he now found on his hands and figured he might as well devote some of it to the outdoor projects that needed doing. Unfortunately, soon 'some' of that time became all of it. Over winter break, the children discovered through investigation of a large plastic bucket that seemed to be moving in the back yard that their father had gotten into trapping mountain beavers. On the claim that they were running rampant over his newly-restored hillside with nothing but earthly destruction in their lentil-sized minds, he was drowning them in said buckets, as this was a cheaper solution to the problem than purchasing a real large-rodent trap.
Furthermore, upon completion of their first year of college, the children came back to a yard dotted with holes 5 feet deep, about 1 1/2 feet in diameter. When questioned about this new landscaping development, their father mumbled something indistinct about testing the soil for water absorption- for the sake of aforementioned painstakingly-restored hillside, of course. Why he did not fill in the holes after testing, as they proved to be a major liability for those not looking where they were going, is a mystery that remains to be solved; perhaps, in the absence of children to keep him rational and all his time spent doing yard work, he fancied himself a Ron Swanson and traded in all his assets for gold nuggets and precious jewels to be buried. Whatever the case, he seems at peace; so, though worried, his children plan to let him stay the course for the mean time.
2. "My mother stocks her freezer with homemade edibles now "- Like most parents, this mother of two had been steadfast in her unwillingness to admit to drug use of any kind during her college years, which coincidentally took place in the '70s. However, upon one fateful visit home during early spring, her children discovered a recipe for edibles lying innocently on the kitchen table. As this was the glorious state of Washington, the existence of the recipe itself in the household was not too hard to believe. What was hard to wrap their heads around was the fact that it turned out to belong to mother, who gave her children a curfew of 11 pm when they turned 18 and had so resolutely claimed to walk down the straight and narrow all her life.
It just so happened on their next visit that her children were rooting around in the freezer for ice cream and instead found what appeared to be a hefty stash of chocolates in a bag vehemently labeled "DO NOT EAT!!!!". When questioned, their father gave up his wife's new hobby of making pot chocolates with a "what can you do" chuckle. Though surprised, her children cannot help but commend her on her foray into this whole new, very green, world.
3. "My parents have taken up ushering" - One can suppose the only rational reason for this is that the adults in question were bored and stingy. Rather than pay for tickets, this pair began volunteering as ushers all over the city, at least two nights a week, so they could occupy their evenings watching shows for free. Didn't matter if it was at a reputable theater or a high school, if it was a student-written musical or a one-man orchestra- at least two nights a week, they could be found handing out programs and directing people to their seats, making sure to collect any perks that came with the job (including but not limited to celebratory dinners and free cookies). Their children applaud them for their thorough exploration of the world of the arts, but hopes they do not continue in their attempts to do family bonding through this new-found activity.
