A few days ago, I marched during a Take Back The Night event on UNLV’s campus. One of our chants was, “yes means yes, no means no, however we dress, wherever we go.” I’ve heard this several times before, but that night it meant something. It made me wonder how long an individual’s attire is going to be a socially acceptable excuse for the crude and violent behavior of perpetrators. It also made me curious as to when in our lives this detrimental seed is planted in our minds, and how it comes to affect us as we grow older.
My little sister is 13-years-old, and attends a local middle school. Last week, she wore a dress that was just under fingertip length. Subsequently, she was dress coded. This wasn’t the first time someone was dress coded, and it will certainly not be the last. From a student’s first day of kindergarten, to their last day of senior year, it’s a rule that never changes. But just because it’s dependable, doesn’t mean the system isn’t remarkably flawed. Teachers, administrators, parents, and faculty, tell kids every year that to be a “good student,” they need to follow the dress code, often creating the first link a child has between attire and self worth.
While reading through the Clark County School District's Regulation 5131 on Dress and Appearance, I found that most of the rules are not only vague and subjective, but are also directed mainly at the female and female-identifying students. While there are a few rules that apply to boys as well, like a prohibition of clothing and jewelry that endorse violent conduct, sagging or ripped jeans, and headwear, the list of violations for female students is far longer. Rules for female and female-identifying students usually begin with, "prohibited tops include, but are not limited to..." suggesting preference of administrators should be accounted for. Less than three inch wide straps, crop tops, tank tops, shorts and skirts under fingertip length, and several other common and comfortable clothing options are banned from wear on the list.
Supporters of dress codes often go on about how if students don’t dress “appropriately” now, they will not be prepared for the workforce. Grown men and women would not show up to work at a law firm or insurance company in sweatpants and a Taylor Swift T-shirt, but they would still be following the Clark County School District Dress Code. It’s clearly not about “dressing for success,” it’s something much more ingrained in our minds- sexism.
When authority figures throw the word “inappropriate” around towards young girls shoulders, legs, and chests, it unnecessarily sexualizes them and perpetuates the idea to young girls and young boys that a girl’s value lies in the way that she dresses. I want to stress the imperative difference between telling female students to conceal their skin, and to hide their bodies. Dress codes in schools are often the first place children learn to slut-shame, but by no means is it the last.
With slut-shaming comes victim blaming. The administrator who called my sister into her office said she was “doing it for [her] safety,” as if lengthening her dress would prevent someone from violating her. If a perpetrator wants to sexually assault someone, wearing modest clothing is not going to change that, no matter how often society claims otherwise. It is never the victim's fault, but dress codes are telling young girls that it is, and telling young boys that if a girl’s skin is exposed, then she wants it. Since the school is so worried about the safety of their female students, they should start teaching students, both male and female, about consent and self-control at an early age, instead of forcing girls to hide their bodies so they don’t “distract” the male students.
So what are the effects of dress code slut-shaming and victim blaming as we grow older? Last weekend I saw it first hand. I don’t usually go out. I’m more of a stay at home and read in my pajamas on Friday nights kind of person, but I decided to go out with some friends to branch out from my normal routine. The party we went to was lingerie themed, and both male and female attendees often dressed up in attire of that nature. After the police inevitably broke up the party, girls were walking out of the house single file in what felt like a walk of shame, only to be made worse by the male police officers’ comments. There was a constant stream of comments as the girls exited the house, but the one that stuck with me was, “Your fathers are crying, right now.”
Comments like these have almost become commonplace in society. People often ask about a girl’s father when they see her dressed in a way they believe is inappropriate, but normalcy does not mean it isn’t a symptom of a patriarchal system. It seems that even centuries after women have been freed from their father and husband’s control, gaining rights to divorce, property, and suffrage, their appearance and actions, particularly when opinionated or sexual in nature, still reflect poorly on the men in her life. Even though I was wearing a subjectively modest dress, walking past those police officers and having them looking all of us up and down, making comments about all of our outfits, I felt shame.
I felt shame because I’ve been conditioned to. I grew up believing dressing in a way that showed off my body, even if I was comfortable in it, lessened my worth, made me a slut, and acted as a verbal consent for sex whether or not it was true. None of the men at the party were slut-shamed, no one even commented on their underwear or drunken state. When those cops suggested that these girls were dressed inappropriately, it reinforced the idea the men learned in their K-12 education about dress codes, that girls wearing outfits like this do not have the same worth or value as a modestly dressed girl, and is asking for sex. At a college party, with the knowledge that one in five women will be sexually assaulted during their college career, these police officers still felt the need to reinforce the idea that those girls deserve it.
Slut-shaming is everywhere. It doesn’t end at school, but it’s where it all starts. I’m not blaming administrators, because they grew up being taught the same social constructs. It’s this destructive cycle of being shown that women who dress a certain way are punished, women and men believing this notion is just, and teaching the children that come after them that these “deviants” of social norms deserve to be isolated, reprimanded, and taught a lesson.
It might seem like just a tank top or just a skirt, but it’s not. It’s a culture. It’s a culture that tells young girls that they have to hide their bodies with the fear that if they don’t someone will hurt them. Children go to school to learn. But what are we really teaching them?
