Let's face it, babies are the essence of cool. Give a baby a pair of sunglasses and damn that's one cool baby. If I could be a baby, I would do it all over again. Now that I'm thinking about it, babies and I are one and the same. We both eat and sleep all day, and we complain a lot. The only difference is that when babies complain they cry, and when I do, I curse. Babies get to appropriately wear diapers too, which apparently I can't do...I bet they're comfortable.
The Get Down On It Baby
...is cooler than you because he's clearly a better dancer than you'll ever be. He has rhythm, moves and no shame.
The Beyonce Baby
...is cooler than you because this baby already knows that Beyonce is one of the greats of all time, and because this baby can dance for three minutes without losing the beat.
Hose Baby
...is cooler than you because he's hysterical and knows how to mess with a dog.
Fart Baby
...is cooler than you because he knows how to get an audience's attention and he has no shame at all. "If it's farts that you want, it's farts that you shall receive."
The IDGAF Baby
...is cooler than you because it has just had enough and isn't afraid to show it. Kinda reminds me of myself when I am told to do something that I just really don't want to do, like homework, because homework stinks.
Bath Baby
...is cooler than you because he really knows how to enjoy himself. He needs nothing other than the peacefulness of his bath, his dog and a couple of toys to make him burst into laughter.
Lazy Baby
...is cooler than you because she/he does her/his own stunts (I can never tell if it's a boy or girl) and is innovative. "You've been doing it wrong people. Stand back and take notes."
Ice Ice Baby
...is cooler than you because you would've just walked right around this little ice patch. Not this kid, though. This kid takes the challenge head on (haha...puns) and actually stays standing on the ice until eventually just giving up. This is me taking a test. I start taking the test and I get tripped up by a couple of questions, but I regain my balance and think that I have a chance. But eventually I fall and give up and die.
Beans Baby
...is cooler than you because she's got moves and she eats healthy and I know you don't.
Break Dancing Baby
...is cooler than you because ummm... well IT'S BREAK DANCING.
Drummer Baby
...is cooler than you because he has a great stage face and is definitely a drummer. He also has awesome parents.
Bball Baby
...is cooler than you because he would get picked over you in a pickup game. He's also wearing a "Thomas the Tank Engine" shirt so he clearly knows what's good. He was also on late-night television so you have no argument for being cooler than this baby, sorry. He's done more than you ever will and he still gets to poop his pants.
