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These Are Actual Conversations I've Had With My Anxiety

Sometimes you just have to answer that annoying little voice.

Stevie Jarrett

Apr 25, 2018

Midlothian, Virginia

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These Are Actual Conversations I've Had With My Anxiety

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Am I the only person that actually envisions their anxiety as like having a distinct persona? Like my anxiety is that stereotypical mean girl that knows everything and likes to remind you of the things that you can't do! Whether I'm at school or work, my anxiety homegirl is there. She's annoying, she's mean, and this is how I imagine myself standing up to my anxiety.

1. *listening to James Taylor

Me: This is a great day, this is good music, the sun is shining...

Anxiety: Start crying.

Okay so I'm enjoying my day, feeling pretty good with myself, and I'm listening to James Taylor and the music just literally takes over and I start crying... at the library... writing a research paper. Anxiety makes me emotional. Sometimes it just gets you in the feels for no reason at all.

2. Me: I want to rent this book.

Anxiety: But you've never rented at this library before.

Me: You're right.

Anxiety: Muhahahaha.

Yep, my anxiety is at that person that likes to remind you of things you can't do. The stereotypical mean girl of highschool. But when your brain starts doing this, bite back!

3. Anxiety: Hey! Hey you!

Me: Not right now, Anxiety. I'm at the bar.

Anxiety: Remember that time your hair fell out?

Like I said, my anxiety likes to remind me of all the bad things including that time my hair fell out... THANK YOU ANXIETY. THANK YOU. HOW COULD I EVER FORGET?

4. *Me shopping

Anxiety: I mean, yeah. You can buy that dress but what if you lose your job tomorrow?

The conversation then ends as my brain proceeds into a eight-hour scenario in which I convince myself I am fired for no reason at all.

5. Me: Hello, (various names of co-workers, managers, supervisors) am I fired?

Everyone at Work: LOL. What?

Me: Sorry, my anxiety is talking to me again.

This is basically me everyday at work. I even call up there when I'm off to make sure I wasn't fired!

6. * 4 a.m.

Me: My (various organs) hurts.

Anxiety: Hey guess what? Hey guess what? Hey guess what? You are dying LOL. Have fun sleeping!

I then use the bathroom 15 times, Google every disease, and then wake Mom up and ask her if we met the insurance deductible so that I can go to the ER for no reason other than my anxiety told me I was dying.

7. *Googles Putin memes

Me: (uncontrollable laughter)

Anxiety: Did you hear that knock? I bet it is the FBI.

Yeah, my anxiety likes to tell me that I'm getting deported so what else is new?

8. Me: Man, I bet I did really well on that test!

Anxiety: Nah. I bet you failed.

You know when you think you know all the answers and you are pretty confident? Yep. Not me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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These Are Actual Conversations I've Had With My Anxiety

Sometimes you just have to answer that annoying little voice.

1. *listening to James Taylor

Me: This is a great day, this is good music, the sun is shining...Anxiety: Start crying.

2. Me: I want to rent this book.

Anxiety: But you've never rented at this library before.

Me: You're right.

Anxiety: Muhahahaha.

3. Anxiety: Hey! Hey you!

Me: Not right now, Anxiety. I'm at the bar.

Anxiety: Remember that time your hair fell out?

4. *Me shopping

Anxiety: I mean, yeah. You can buy that dress but what if you lose your job tomorrow?

5. Me: Hello, (various names of co-workers, managers, supervisors) am I fired?

Everyone at Work: LOL. What?

Me: Sorry, my anxiety is talking to me again.

6. * 4 a.m.

Me: My (various organs) hurts.

Anxiety: Hey guess what? Hey guess what? Hey guess what? You are dying LOL. Have fun sleeping!

7. *Googles Putin memes

Me: (uncontrollable laughter)

Anxiety: Did you hear that knock? I bet it is the FBI.

8. Me: Man, I bet I did really well on that test!

Anxiety: Nah. I bet you failed.

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Corona

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Perfect Weather

You'll get an effortless tan

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In n Out all day, every day

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Because let's be honest, we all use lyrics.

1. “Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside. It's where my demons hide.”

2. “Tonight, we are young.”

3. “Cuz I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it.”

4. “Tell me how they got that pretty little face on that pretty little frame.”

5. “I can’t wait to fall in love with you, you can’t wait to fall in love with me.”

6. “Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on.”

7. “Why you so obsessed with me?”

8. “We ain’t ever getting older.”

9. “I didn’t know that I was starving until I tasted you.”

10. “Didn’t they tell you I’m a savage?"

11. “I’m gonna make you miss me.”

12. "Cheers to the freakin weekend.”

13. “Love’s a game. Wanna play?”

14. “You don’t know about me, but I bet you want to.”

15. “Let’s set each other’s lonely nights, Be each other’s paradise.”

16. “Trippin’ on skies, sippin’ waterfalls."

17. “Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days.”

18. “But you will remember me for centuries.”

19. “Something about you makes me feel like a dangerous woman."

20. “Don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me.”

21. “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.”

22. “Find me where the wild things are.”

23. “I’m high on lovin’ you.”

24. “If you’re gonna be somebody’s heartbreak, somebody’s mistake, if you’re gonna be somebody’s first time, somebody’s last time, be mine.”

25. “Don’t be afraid to take the road less traveled on.”

Everything Bruce says in his classic rock songs.

1. "Talk about a dream Try to make it real You wake up in the night With a fear so real Spend your life waiting For a moment that just don't come Well don't waste your time waiting." (Badlands)

2. "It's a town full of losers/ I'm pulling out of here to win" (Thunder Road)

3. "You've got to learn to live with what you can't rise above" (Tunnel of Love)

4. "I got something in my heart/ I been waitin' to give/ I got a life I wanna start/ One I been waitin' to live" (Leah)

5. “God have mercy on the man/ Who doubts what he’s sure of” (Brilliant Disguise)

7. “Is a dream a lie when it don’t come true, or is it something worse?” (The River)

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Me: This is a great day, this is good music, the sun is shining...

Anxiety: Start crying.

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1. "Talk about a dream
Try to make it real
You wake up in the night
With a fear so real
Spend your life waiting
For a moment that just don't come
Well don't waste your time waiting." (Badlands)