Double standards in the United States are not few and far between, but there is one that everyone seems to overlook. If a man says he doesn't want a baby, he's mature and focused on his career/future. However, if a woman says she doesn't want a baby, she's heartless and there must be something wrong with her. The truth is, there is nothing with not wanting a child. This is not 1955, not every woman dreams of being a mother and a homemaker. Not every woman is cut out to be a mother and there is nothing wrong with that. In this day and age, there is so much more in the world for women than just bearing children. In the United States, we have the blessing of being valued as women, a privilege so many women around the world are deprived of. The opportunities are limitless for women today. We should be praising women who take full advantage of these opportunities, not criticizing them for not partaking in their “gender role.”
I look around today and see so many of my friends getting married and having babies. Although I’m happy for them, I know that isn't what I want for myself right now, or anytime soon. Your friends may be ready to start a family, but that doesn't mean you have to be, now or ever. Sometimes, it’s hard not to feel the pressure when everyone around seems to be starting families and settling down. If you know deep down that you aren't ready, then trust yourself. Take your time, you are young, and there is no rush. You are the only person that can decide what is best for you, so listen to that voice of reason! Everyone is different. Some women were born to be mothers, and that’s wonderful. Other women may take more time to be ready for motherhood. Some never find motherhood is right for them, and that’s perfectly fine.
As young women, this is the time in our lives to live our dreams. This is the time to travel the world, go to school, and have a career. There is nothing wrong with wanting more out of life than a white pic-it fence. Even in our twenties, although we are “adults,” we still have a lot maturing to do. This is the time in our lives to focus on ourselves. Take the time to find yourself. Once you have a baby, it’s not about you anymore. Your life is dedicated to that child. A baby is long nights and early mornings, full of diapers, bottles, and tears. Your life is consumed in taking care of your child and its okay to say, “I'm not ready for that.”
There is nothing wrong with taking your time. Take life and all of its twist and turns as they come. Rushing yourself is the best way to mess things up. It’s ok to not be ready for a child in your life now, and for some women, not ever. It’s time we eliminated this double standard for good. Not every girl catches baby fever, and if you aren't one of them, there is nothing wrong with you.
