The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

Learn more about the way you communicate love in your relationships

"The 5 Love Languages" is a series of books written by Gary Chapman. Whether you're in a relationship or single, the concept of 5 love languages is applicable to any relationship or friendship you have.

When it comes to relationships today, people are so willing to break up at the first sign of struggle or after the first fight, rather than putting in the effort to understand the person they're with. Everyone always preaches that "communication is key" in any relationship you find yourself in, so learning to communicate more efficiently and effectively could be as easy as learning about these 5 love languages.

I have incorporated these love languages into my life and it really has changed my understanding of other people and my relationships. We are capable of communicating in all five love languages, there are just certain ones we utilize more often. We all express love the way we want to be loved, and we all do that in different ways. The 5 love languages, according to Chapman's concept, are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

Word of Affirmation

Words have a power over people, or sometimes they mean absolutely nothing. However, if you appreciate compliments or have an appreciation for words and speech, you would probably score high in words of affirmation. In a relationship with a significant other, or even your friends, you find yourself telling them how much you admire them and that you love them, it's because you personally crave and cherish the value of words. Verbal compliments can become repetitive, so the best way to communicate love in this way, is to give simple, straightforward statements of encouragement or genuinely kind and truthful things.

Quality Time

With distractions of technology, work obligations and other things, we tend to forget about the value of quality time, which is giving someone your undivided attention. Quality time is like putting words of affirmation into action. Being mentally and physically present for a significant other or even your friends is the most important thing to some. So put down your phones, look at each other and actually enjoy the time you have together.

Receiving Gifts

Giving gifts is the oldest form of expressing love. It doesn't have to be the most expensive thing or trip in the world, but just a little token to show your friend or significant other that you were thinking of them. Having something tangible to have as a token of love and appreciation. Some people have certain locations that hold memories for them, so certain gifts can have the same effect. There are also the a significance of giving the intangible gift of secrets and self. Confiding in a significant other is a gift in itself, it's the gift of trust.

Acts of Service

For some people actions speak louder than words. Not in the way of quality time, but doing things for another person. That is how your significant other will express and accept love. What's the one thing your friend or significant other has constantly mentioned something they want "someone" to do for them. Do it. Simply do what the person has asked you to do or request of you. Or run errands for your friend, if you know they've had a stressful, exhausting day. It will be highly valued, if acts of service is their prominent love language.

Physical Touch

Physical contact is the most common and well known type of communicating love and affection. A simple hug, or kiss on the forehead, or holding hands in public can mean so much more than doing chores or getting presents or just saying that you love them. However, there are some people who do not take physical touch very seriously and do not see it as an expression of love, but just as a physical act. Physical boundaries should also be respected so, this is an important love language to interpret or figure out about your significant other. So if your girlfriend/boyfriend gets frustrated or angry because you chose not to hold their hand while walking around, understand that it's because the physical touch is important to them.

I've explained each of the languages in the simplest terms, and you can learn more about each language through the books and website, where you can also take a simplified test to find out our your love languages here. This concept has the potential to make it easier to understand every friend or significant other or family member. 10/10 recommend reading Gary Chapman's books!

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.

Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.


They raise little girls to be insecure

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Her soul feels worn

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How can she let that affect her

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Hoping that one day

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