One night in March, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I noticed a flyer that a friend of mine had shared. It was a job listing for a summer internship in Houston, Texas. The post read, "Unlike anything you'll do in a normal job, this internship not only has weekly formation, community living, and intentional ministry in the shadows of Houston, but you'll be immersed in a life of prayer learning from some of our most veteran missionaries." I didn't know what it was, but I was drawn to it immediately and decided to apply. I didn't really think I would get it and be living in Texas for a summer. After a series of phone interviews, the position was offered to me and my life will be forever changed because of it.
I arrived in Texas on June 1st, where I, the other interns, and a team of missionaries and their families met for some staple Texan BBQ. There we were introduced to one another and told about our mission. From there, we set off to our new apartment and spent the afternoon unpacking, claiming rooms, and going on a communal grocery store run. We had a pretty fun weekend that first week there, attending our first weekly formation and going to an Astros game together, but by Monday it was time to get into the grind. We set off for our mission parishes, met the kids, and began work right away.
My duties this summer consisted of leading bible studies, planning youth groups, and most importantly, simply loving kids as Jesus does. Adore focuses on relational ministry, and that is just what we did. I'll never forget the deep conversations I had outside of Gabby's SnoCones or the kids opening up to me at McAllister's Deli. It was truly a summer to remember, and one that left me forever changed.
Now, as much as I say this summer has changed my life, I don't think I fully realized that until I returned home. Texas was hard. It was great, but it was hard. Being there drew me closer to God in a way that I have never experienced, which was beautiful but painful. I loved my mission and I think about the awesome kids daily, but I experienced much more than just hanging out with kids and leading bible studies. I learned a lot about myself this summer. I learned that I had wounds from years past that I have never allowed to heal. To tear open those wounds again and allow Jesus in was scary, but I am finally seeing the benefit of that.
In prayer a few months ago, I came across a reading that perfectly sums up my summer: the wound in the heart. Experience shows that to pray well and to be brought to the state of passive prayer in which God and soul communicate in depth, the heart must be pierced-pierced by the love of God, wounded by a thirst for the Beloved. I'll be the first to tell you that it is hard to surrender, to let the Lord heal you. But He desires that so much, for all of us. For whatever reason, it took living in another state for 2 months for me to finally soften my heart. I applied for that internship on a whim, and my family wasn't sure why I desired it so bad, and to be honest, neither was I. But now I know. God called me to Texas this summer to resurrect a part of my heart that was dead. He called me there not just to be a witness to youth, but to wound me so that I may be brought into better communion with him.
I want to thank each and every person that supported me on that journey and prayed for my mission, for the kids of St. John Fisher for being Jesus to me, and most importantly, for the Adore Community that has become more like family, for showing me unconditional love. I cannot way for my next trip to H-Town.
