A very smart man once said something to me that I did not find very important. It was a comment made in response to my uncertainty about making choices about work and life. I was struggling with what I should do in a social situation because I didn't want to hurt feelings or disappoint someone. I don't remember the details but what he said ended up being some really solid advice; and not just for me.

He said, "Don't say maybe if you want to say no."

Like I said, it didn't really seem too important to me when he said it, but it has turned out to be a very important thing to remember. What it means is: if you have no desire to do something, don't feel bad about saying no. This is a really freeing concept and I encourage you to take it into the new year. If you, like me, are a little bit over-commital and feel bad saying no to opportunities as they come up, remember this. You don't have to say yes to everything and you shouldn't lead on that you have interest if you don't. It's ok to say no and it's dumb to say maybe if you mean no.

The reason that this has been so freeing is that when you don't feel the need to weigh every decision about other people will think or who will be disappointed by a no, you have the opportunity to be honest and to do what you want. It's nice. Try it out. Say no. It's not that bad.