The Window, Part 1: A Poem
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Window, Part 1: A Poem

The window of opportunity for us is now open – but is it really?

9
Girl sitting and looking out of window

"We broke up."


The resulting shock lasted for only a moment,

One of just five seconds,

Probably more had I let it,

But it was still there –

Even if a part of me deep down –

A part I didn't fully trust –

Already knew,

If only for an inkling.


This was the answer I was expecting –

Half-expecting –

Once I finally came upon the perfect excuse to text you,

To see how you were doing during these "uncertain times,"

Both of you –

After seeing your FB photo change,

From the two of you

To just a close-up of you –

From the same photo.


You weren't willing to talk about it,

So I didn't press you on it,

But that doesn't stop my curiosity from running away with a mind of its own,

From running through the possibilities –

All the possible reasons how this could've happened –

To a couple who's been together seven years

With one main reason standing out amongst the rest:

Me.


My better sense reminded me otherwise,

That the reason for this couldn't be me –

At least of late

That it had to be due somewhat to what the current reality for all of us is right now.

(I did ask you if this was the case,

But I do still remember your answer,

So I will have to respect your boundaries and hold off from further questions.)


But no matter the reason,

For the way things are with you two now,

That doesn't change the way things were for us then:

It doesn't add to or take away all the feelings I had then –

From seven years back when my affection for you grew,

Despite (and maybe even because of) your being with her at that time –

That which was still green,

Still brand-new –

To when the distance between us grew –

To no true fault of your own but still

To which after several failed attempts I in the end submitted and relinquished that hope of us,

Those old feelings having been tainted, diluted, and numbed,

Most of which having had faded away overtime.


I tried my best to keep my distance,

Especially when after a week's worth of reaching out to you three years back when I needed you,

She reached out to me to stop and I reluctantly complied,

Though most of me –

Despite all that went against me –

Still wanted to reconnect:

To recreate what we once had in the friendship we had started seven years ago.


But now with the obstacle that had been blocking the light of that hope out of the way,

I don't know where we stand,

Or if that light still shines brightly for us anymore.


The window of opportunity for us is now open –

But is it really?

My recovery from all that and more is still far from over,

As I'm now in the midst of exploring who I am and where I'm going –

Eventually

And you have your own life out and about in the midst of right now.

(God willing you make it out okay every day.)


Part of me still wonders if –

Still wishes that –

We would've had something had I noticed you then when you were still there within my reach,

Had I been there by your side years before and felt that way about you then,

And had I gotten up the courage to tell you what I had been feeling for you…

There's still that less than ten percent that's asking "What if?" and demanding more –

But it still doesn't magically change how you feel about me or think about what could be for us,

Or resurrect the sparks I once had for you and only you

It could with time, but I can't always count on it to.


You need time to heal and to focus on yourself – as do I for myself,

And I am more than willing to give that to you as I am to myself and then some

You two were together for seven years.

I am more than willing to back up a bit before…

Before


Before I'll know for sure whether to make that first move,

The first thing I need to do is make up my mind – and my heart.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

To My Fellow Girls With Resting B**** Face

A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.

465
Jupe du Jour

To the girl with resting b**** face:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

2990
J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

14085
Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.

11440

Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less
google images

Fashion just keeps growing and changing and old trends are made new! Now, I'm no beauty guru, just a beauty guru wannabe, but personally I have compiled some stylish wardrobe must haves! These can be cute assets to go back to school or just to catch up on some of the latest trends...

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments