The Value Of Acceptance

The Value Of Acceptance

Why we need to let ourselves be OK with not feeling OK all the time.
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Sometimes, life just doesn’t go at all the way we had planned. We switch majors, switch schools, friendships end, relationships end, new friends come, jobs come and go, and we change our dreams and goals. At first, these changes can seem downright horrible for those of us, like myself, who hate change that we have no control over. I like change when I can control it and when I want it. For example, I liked switching my major because I knew it was what I wanted to do with my life. But, I don’t like change when it is something I wasn’t planning on or expecting.

When I discover that what I had wanted for so long is no longer plausible, or that my future might not be exactly the way I had wanted it to be, I tend to react very negatively. I have a hard time accepting that things don’t always go the way I want them to at the moment.

This has been a constant struggle of mine, because it is very difficult for me to find peace and joy in situations that don’t necessarily present themselves the way I was hoping they would. What I have learned though, is that the fact that I struggle with this is perfectly OK.

Accepting the fact that I don’t feel at peace or happy with certain situations has been the first step in actually beginning to feel at peace and happy. It’s weird how that works.

I don’t like feeling sad, I don’t like feeling lost, and I don’t like feeling confused. These statements used to make me feel even more sad, lost, and confused. But, simply accepting the fact that I don’t like feeling those ways has eliminated so much of the anxiety surrounding situations that make me feel sad, lost, or confused. I tend to worry a lot about the fact that I am sad about something, which makes it seem even worse than it actually is. But, realizing that it is OK to feel that way makes my worries lessen, even just a little.

Accepting the situations that we are in leads to so much more peace in our lives, even if we hate our current situations. The heightened anxiety and stress we live through as a result of not acknowledging or being okay with the fact that we don’t like something that is happening to us can be reduced tremendously if only we have the courage and strength to accept that it is our reality, at least for now.

There is so much freedom that comes from the act of simply saying that we don’t like the way things are right now. Accepting that we are sad, hurt, grieving, lonely, confused, or whatever other emotion we may be feeling allows us to take control of the situation, frees us from the worry the unaccepted feelings bring, and empowers us to take back our lives, in pursuit of the amazing adventures and joys that await us.


"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.


Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen."









Cover Image Credit: HuffPo

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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My Respect For The Searching Pagan

A tribute to belief.

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One of my professors enjoys saying, with emphasis and a smirk: "People make their gods."

"You make your gods up in your heads. You fashion them yourselves."

Would it help anything for me to disagree? I could never fashion God. He fashions me.

It's an African-American literature class, so the poetry and prose often touch on African heritage and tribal gods and so forth.

And so tribal masks and stick idols are talked about with reverence and a scholarly tone but with an air of above-ness. I don't quite know how to describe it. It's like someone talking above a guinea pig cage, praising the guinea pig habits and culture and their "guinea pig-ness," but obviously speaking as their superior. They are a study subject, a specimen, not an equal. She belittles their belief, in everything she doesn't say and in her frequent line.

And I find myself taking the side — the side of the tribes!

Her arrogant unbelief, her belief in herself, is staggering, and she pats herself on the back by, in no uncertain words, equating the son of God, Jesus Christ, with some crude sculptures.

(I am sorry if this turns into too much of a rant. I am called to love this professor and pray for her good, not to be sinfully angry with her!)

I respect the pagans for their belief, their wild longing. They knew that there is something more than the materials they saw, or they longed deeply for the "something else." They worshipped something outside of or beyond themselves.

Atheists, they worship at the altar of self.

I pity the pagans, for they worshipped what they did not know and yet what they created with their own hands. They bowed to dirt and dust, to nothing. But I hold a respect for them, for their wild longing and leap, for their acknowledgment that we are made to worship, for their dancing expression of longing and hope, for their search.

They are a million miles closer to the truth, to beauty, in their native ignorance of Christ, than this professor who looks upon the crucifixion with amusement.

If only she could let the possibility of truth pierce her hide, if only she could walk down from her intellectual pedestal, to worship at the baby's manger, at the humble, horrifying cross. I want more than anything, that her eyes may see and eyes may hear.

If only she could look on Jesus, not as a specimen, but as her Savior.

I pray for the day! In the meantime, she teaches me ever more about the startling beauty of humility and about the incredible limits of the intellect. Rationalization and education are a load of crap if they lead us up into the dungeons of pride.

The soul of the unbeliever, of the atheist, is more chained and poisoned and broken than that of any human slave who ever lived in the freedom of Christ.

We come upon a lot of hard questions in literature, some hard morsels that will knot your stomach. Like there's this slicing fact that the salvation of many people into God's kingdom (and out of paganism) came by the way of kidnapping and brutal slavery.

Many of the African-American poems talk about the cost, the high cost of knowing Jesus. Many Africans paid the great cost of slavery in finding Jesus. Was it worth it?

Not if you think Christianity is merely soul comfort. Not if you think it just provides structure and purpose. Not if you think it's just a constraining religion or just one of many ways to God.

Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. And to those who believe, yes, He is worth everything, though His ways are beyond our understanding.

Christ is not a God for white people alone! What a joke. He came 'first for the Jew, and then for the Gentile.'

Jesus reaches out to every nation, to every pagan, every atheist. He reaches out a loving hand to all men, none excluded, asking them to feast around the fire, to know Him and forsake their sin.

A relationship with Jesus makes joy central, and suffering, no matter how great, peripheral, in this life. For we know the end of our stories (and their real beginnings) will be glorious and good: redeemed. This harsh world of our sight is not all there is.

Christ is the hope of all nations, a healing balm for the bitter cynic, and the fulfillment of longing for the pagan.

Through the tribal fire, through the haze of death and the burning horror, through the pains of great wickedness, our perfect God reaches out a hand to those who run from Him. He offers love, He offers His one and only Son, bearing our sin on a cross. No one could have made this up, this radical, forgiving love.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." — John 3:16

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