Ah, Fraternities. Whether you’re in college, out of college, or about to go to college, we all know what they are. The way they’re depicted in TV and movies is definitely a bit flawed from the real, genuine gross feeling you get in your stomach upon walking into a door where you can feel every single guy in a 10-foot radius checking you out.

Now, besides the puke, beer, and people that you WILL see passed out on that frat house floor (that probably hasn’t been cleaned in who knows how long,) you’ll need to survive the partygoers. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll observe every person that comes near you, in hopes of figuring out how to navigate this strange place.

People will be sweaty. People will talk to you. People will touch you. People will be drunk. You will inhale at least two cigarettes worth of secondhand smoke. You might have a good time.

Here are the ~official~ unwritten rules of frat parties, at any school, by me:

1. Have fun, but not too much fun.

Listen, parties are for fun! Everyone checks out the frats because although disgusting, they're a lot of fun if you're with the right group. Have fun, but don't get trashed. Nothing is worse than checking your phone the next morning and seeing that you confessed your undying love for your ex.

2. Always go in a group.

Frats are notorious for being unsafe. While that's not always the truth, do it just in case.

3. If you want to get in, don't bring your guy friends.

Ratio is a word that I only thought worked in math until I got to college. Ratio is EVERYTHING. For every x amount of girls, they will allow one guy. That's gonna suck for your guy friends that tag along that either can't get in or have to pay a WHOPPING $10.

4. DO NOT (EVER) wear cute shoes to a frat house.

From personal experience, don't wear your favorite pair of white vans to the party. They are no longer white. Trust me.

5. Don't drive.

Don't drink and drive. Even if it's a sip. Take an uber. Get a ride home. Uber. Lyft. Walk. End of story.

6. Know what house you're at.

Okay, nothing is more embarrassing than saying you're at Sigma Chi when you're actually at Sigma Alpha Epsilon. You don't need to learn the Greek alphabet; literally ask anyone there.

7. Don't post about where you are.

Getting into a frat before it's full is hard enough as it is. If people see where you are, they're going to show up. That makes it harder for more people to get in and, more importantly, makes it easier for police to show up. C'mon, no one wants a record with the police.

8. Most importantly, make friends.

The friends you make at parties are either some of your good friends or just randoms that you add on Snapchat and never really speak to again, nor even know if they go to your school.

Hopefully, this is helpful, whether it's your first frat encounter or your millionth! Stay safe, kids! Happy partying!