The Unwritten Rules Of Frat Parties

The Unwritten Rules Of Frat Parties

Read these rules once, and you'll be set for the rest of college.
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Ah, Fraternities. Whether you’re in college, out of college, or about to go to college, we all know what they are. The way they’re depicted in TV and movies is definitely a bit flawed from the real, genuine gross feeling you get in your stomach upon walking into a door where you can feel every single guy in a 10-foot radius checking you out.

Now, besides the puke, beer, and people that you WILL see passed out on that frat house floor (that probably hasn’t been cleaned in who knows how long,) you’ll need to survive the partygoers. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll observe every person that comes near you, in hopes of figuring out how to navigate this strange place.

People will be sweaty. People will talk to you. People will touch you. People will be drunk. You will inhale at least two cigarettes worth of secondhand smoke. You might have a good time.

Here are the ~official~ unwritten rules of frat parties, at any school, by me:

1. Have fun, but not too much fun.

Listen, parties are for fun! Everyone checks out the frats because although disgusting, they're a lot of fun if you're with the right group. Have fun, but don't get trashed. Nothing is worse than checking your phone the next morning and seeing that you confessed your undying love for your ex.

2. Always go in a group.

Frats are notorious for being unsafe. While that's not always the truth, do it just in case.

3. If you want to get in, don't bring your guy friends.

Ratio is a word that I only thought worked in math until I got to college. Ratio is EVERYTHING. For every x amount of girls, they will allow one guy. That's gonna suck for your guy friends that tag along that either can't get in or have to pay a WHOPPING $10.

4. DO NOT (EVER) wear cute shoes to a frat house.

From personal experience, don't wear your favorite pair of white vans to the party. They are no longer white. Trust me.

5. Don't drive.

Don't drink and drive. Even if it's a sip. Take an uber. Get a ride home. Uber. Lyft. Walk. End of story.

6. Know what house you're at.

Okay, nothing is more embarrassing than saying you're at Sigma Chi when you're actually at Sigma Alpha Epsilon. You don't need to learn the Greek alphabet; literally ask anyone there.

7. Don't post about where you are.

Getting into a frat before it's full is hard enough as it is. If people see where you are, they're going to show up. That makes it harder for more people to get in and, more importantly, makes it easier for police to show up. C'mon, no one wants a record with the police.

8. Most importantly, make friends.

The friends you make at parties are either some of your good friends or just randoms that you add on Snapchat and never really speak to again, nor even know if they go to your school.

Hopefully, this is helpful, whether it's your first frat encounter or your millionth! Stay safe, kids! Happy partying!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Suffer From Vulnerability Hangovers And I'm Slowly Learning To Go With It, You Should Too

Without vulnerability, there wouldn't be anything real.
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Maybe I said too much.

They probably think I'm crazy.

I should have just kept my mouth shut.

If you ever have thoughts like these, you probably suffer from vulnerability hangovers just like I do.

Brene Brown defines "vulnerability hangovers" as the feeling you get when you second guess a moment of self-disclosure. You feel great for awhile until you replay the moment over in your head and wish you hadn't said certain things. You feel exposed and you wish you could take it all back, but it's never that simple.

Once it's out there, there's no going back and that's a scary thought. Not knowing whether they'll accept you when you are completely and honestly YOU.

Vulnerability is messy and awkward.

I don't think I've ever met anyone who has actually enjoyed the process that is required of being vulnerable. They may enjoy the relationships that have come out of it but bringing themselves to a point where their darkest secrets and their greatest fears are out in the open is not easy. But no matter who you are, it's not easy.

Those that say it is, have either had the practice or are lying to themselves. Because the fear of being vulnerable stems from our fear of being seen, heard and known for who we truly are, it reveals our worst insecurities...even the ones we didn't know we had.

What makes people feel vulnerable?

People feel vulnerable when they share stories or try to be themselves. They feel it when they are in trouble and they need help. Sometimes, vulnerability takes the form of a girl who wants to try a different look hoping people don't think she's trying too hard. Or, it's when a fifty-something-year-old man gets laid off and has no idea how he's going to provide for his family.

It also happens when you make a choice to put yourself out there knowing there's a possibility that you could be laughed at. It's choosing to open your mouth even when you might be rejected. It's awkward and it's painful.

While it's not at all easy, it is necessary. Without vulnerability, there would be no connection. An authentic relationship would not exist. We'd live in a world full of fake and lonely people.

That's not a world anyone wants to live in. I should know because I let myself live in that world for too long and that's just too It's depressing! We need to start learning to embrace it and go with being uncomfortable.

I'd rather live through the messy and awkward stages if that meant I'd never have to feel alone again. I still suffer from vulnerability hangovers and I'm hoping it's something that I'll overcome with practice. And if not, at least I'm striving for something real.

I think it's time we ask ourselves what makes us vulnerable? Whatever that is, let's do it!

Cover Image Credit: Jean Gerber

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Don't Give Up On Sororities

Find your family.
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Growing up, I always wanted to be in a sorority.

You see them portrayed in movies and on television as the coolest girls- the ones that everyone wants to be and be around. It wasn’t the popularity factor that interested me as much though, it was the closeness that these girls always exhibited. They were “sisters” and they were family. As an only child, I loved the idea of having sisters and being part of something special that was bigger than just me.

When I got to my first college, I couldn’t wait for rush to start.

I had been doing my research, and knew which sororities I could see myself being part of; I couldn’t wait to finally meet the girls that could fulfill my childhood aspiration with.

I learned quickly that it wasn’t as easy as just introducing yourself to the girls. Meeting them seemed so artificial, as if they were reading off scripts. It was evident from the beginning that they already had an idea in their head of who was joining and who was not. I was not part of this idea. This would have crushed my dreams of being in a sorority for good if I had not transferred.

At my new school I knew that the people were different- more friendly and genuine. My first semester I held out on the whole sorority thing, skeptical of the process for obvious reasons and wanting to time to adjust to my new school. I had accepted the title of a GDI, "god damn independent", and wore it with pride. As much as I was okay with this, I still knew that something was missing.

Fall of 2017, first semester of sophomore year, is when my mindset changed again. I was going through a lot of personal problems: family, love, and what felt like any other bad thing that could possibly happen to me. The allure of a group of sisters was slowly pulling me back in. I was desperate for at least some sort of stability, and I wanted a group of girl friends that I could depend on.

Soon after my curiosity was piqued one of my friends started to introduce me to some of her sorority sisters. The more sisters I met, the more I realized that I was having real conversations and making real connections. I couldn’t help but think that this was what I always envisioned a sorority being like- real.

I had never received so much support and unwavering kindness from people whom I barely even knew as soon as I joined.

For the first time in a while I felt secure, confident, and surrounded by people that truly cared about me. This feeling has only multiplied as time has gone on, and I'm not sure what I would do without my sisters. In such a short amount of time I have made friends that I can already see myself being friends with forever, and I think that's pretty amazing. No matter what preconceptions, bad experiences, or doubts that you have- give sorority life one more shot.

Behind all of the crafting and glitter, there is a second family waiting to give you all of the love that they have.

Cover Image Credit: Marisa Sabino

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