Your twenties are a weird time in your life. You don’t really know what you are doing, or what you want to do for the rest of your life. You can easily feel as if you are stuck in a rut, with no way to break free. Being in your early twenties is a very strange part of life. You can drink, gamble, get a tattoo, but you also OH MY GOD you have to make your own doctor’s appointments!? These questions lead to the inevitable question every twenty-something year old has: What really defines the starting point of our adult lives? Is it exactly when the clock strikes midnight on our 18th birthday, or is it when we finally get the courage to move out of our parent’s houses? I have come to the conclusion that there is no real definite beginning to adulthood. The ability to take care of ourselves starts at a different time for everyone. It truly is a terrifying experience being 23, and trying to start your life. There are a lot of lessons I have personally learned along the way to that sweet day somewhere in the future where I am financially stable and able to call dentist, and here are some of the most important ones I have learned along the way
You can survive on your own.
This is the one thought that consumed me daily since moving out of my parents' house. I never thought there would be a day where I would be able to feed myself, pay my own bills, and still have money left over to keep up with my (somewhat) simple lifestyle. Even if some tragedy happens (which something bad will most likely happen at some point) know that you can handle it on your own, and everything will be ok. Even though taking care of yourself is a good thing, it’s OK to ask for help (and the occasional $40 from mom and dad every now and again.) Everyone needs a little help now and then. Do not be afraid to seek it. If you had a bad day, and you need to call your best friend who lives in a different time zone, go ahead. They will always get back to you, and they will always know how to cheer you up. If you don’t know how to write a check properly, ask your mom. If you haven’t eaten in 2 days because rent was due, ask someone to spot you for some Chipotle. If you are having other problems such as dealing with a break-up, or you have wicked bad anxiety turn to those who love you. Just know that no matter how bad things may seem, there’s always a silver lining, and bad days are temporary.
Love yourself.
Even though some days it can feel like everyone is treating you like an actual piece of dog poop, there will never be a day when you are not loved by somebody. Most importantly, learning to love yourself, is so freeing. Once you accept the little flaws about yourself and accept yourself for the person you are, the confidence you gain will make you feel more empowered than ever before.
Your relationship status does not define you as a person.
I always thought that being with someone who I thought had value as a person, would somehow give me more value as a person. But as I grew past my late teen years, I began to realize that I have value just as myself. I’m an interesting person who has a lot to offer, and I don’t need a boyfriend to make me look worthy. Even though I love my boyfriend very much, I can survive without his constant presence.
Listen to your friends.
Seriously, and I’m not saying when your friends tell you “dude just take one more shot!” to do it. I’m talking about when you’re friends say that you have been an asshole lately, take a second to analyze yourself and see why you feel the way you feel, you might end up discovering some things you never knew about yourself, and it will help you validate your trust in them.
Have confidence in yourself.
OK THIS ONE IS LIKE SO IMPORTANT. Don’t ever think being confident makes you look bitchy. I used to think if I was confident in my decisions, it would turn the people I love away. But truth is, little things like wearing winged eyeliner and dyeing my hair teal, made me feel so good about myself because it was the first time in my life I did what I wanted to do, without feeling as if people were judging me. Now I feel like a beautiful mermaid babe every day, and it is fantastic, which leads me to my next point..
Look how you want to look.
Seriously. Find your look. Play with different hair colors, wear all black, put on bright red lipstick. Whatever makes you feel empowered with your looks, wear it. All throughout college and your early adult years, you are going to be told a million times to dress professionally and to keep your hair and makeup natural. If you are going into a very professional field, that is excellent advice to follow, but have fun while you can, and if you’re lucky you might find a job that lets you have your hair whatever color you want, and dress cute!
Try new things.
Trying new things is a great way to find stuff you really like, and to find things you don’t. Everybody is different, and this is the time in your life to find your identity. Sushi. Jeggings. Anime. That new app that everyone has. You never know what you may end up liking, or hating Disclaimer: I hate alcohol)
Treat yo self!
You work hard, and you deserve that expensive palette from Sephora. Go out with your friends
Overall, life never has a plan, and you have to figure it all out. You'll have people by your side the whole time, so don't sweat it.
