If you have ever been camping, and I mean really camping, then you know what each of these scenarios is like and you probably never want to relive them. For those of you who go, “glamping,” also known as glamorous camping, prepare yourselves for the traumatic portrayal of camping at its dirtiest.

1. Tent Camping

The classic tent camping: Sleeping bag on an air mattress, port-a-potties, and having dirt under your fingernails. For those of you who have parents that live for adventuring in the wilderness, tent camping is all too familiar. There are so many things about actual camping that make you never want to relive the experience. After a hike, all you want to do is take a quick shower to rinse off, but instead, a simple wipe down with a baby wipe will have to do. You have watched the ice melt in your cooler allowing the hot dogs, bacon, and other perishable foods go to waste. You know what it’s like to brush your teeth using water from a water bottle and spitting into the campfire. And needless to say, you will never reminisce about the port-a-potties, or getting up in the middle of the night to squat and pee outside of your tent. Tent camping really makes you appreciate your running water at home. But you have to admit, it is always nice to get away, out of cell service range, to a silent campsite in the middle of the wilderness. And waking up to the smell of freshly-cooked bacon on the Coleman grill. Bacon can make you forget all about your greasy hair.

2. Glamping

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This is the most luxurious form of “camping.” In your trailer, or, if you will, mobile home, you have everything that a tent camper dreams of: A toilet, a shower, comfortable beds, a stove, an oven, a refrigerator, and running water. You know nothing about using a porta-potty, and you rarely have to use bug spray because of the protective screen on your trailer door. You can flip on the generator and charge your phone on the power strip. There is even a welcome mat outside of the trailer so you don’t track dirt inside. Regular tent campers often make fun of glamping for obvious reasons. An accurate portrayal of glamping is Urban Dictionary’s synonyms: “Luxury, celebrity, comfort, hotel, money, and debauchery.” But hey, at least you are almost roughing it in the wilderness, and at least you won’t wake up in the middle of the night and trip on a rock on the way to the porta-potties.