"Oh, you're a pastor's daughter?" says the boy with a smirk. Immediately, his thoughts go toward a girl who has low morals and strict parents. He's now hoping for a loose girl who likes to rebel because of her father's vocation. Sadly, this is a stereotype that every pastor's daughter has on her head.
Pastors' daughters have an incredibly high standard that they have to uphold. We are placed on a higher pedestal than other girls our age. Our clothes must always be modest, because we never know when we're going to see someone from the church out in public. We must never curse because everyone is constantly watching us. Our music must always be acceptable, because you never know when they're going to ask to use your iTunes for a church event. Sounds crazy, right? It is. But it's reality.
Sometimes people forget that a pastor's daughter is still a teenage girl. We feel as if we aren't allowed to be ourselves because of what people will say in the church and community. Every single thing that we do is a reflection on our fathers, even if we don't want it to be. If a normal teenager acts out, then it's just that teen going through a hard time. We need to pray for that individual. There is sympathy for that family with that teenager, and you reach out to them. If a pastor's daughter acts out? Well, what did her parents do wrong? We're letting this man counsel and teach about the family when he can't even control his own daughter? Gossip starts.
Do you see the double standard here?
Pastors' daughters are scrutinized by every pair of eyes in the community, no matter if they're members of your church or not. Oh, people love to talk about the pastor's daughter. If they're members, it's a great dinner table conversation about how she's acting out and how it's a disgrace. If they aren't members, it's a fabulous reason not to attend that church service and an easy way to bash the pastor.
Not only are we watched like a hawk by the community, but dating is a mess. The minute you tell a boy that you're a pastor's daughter, you get this response: "The good kind or the bad kind?" And you know they're hoping for the bad kind. See, the bad kind are those girls who go against everything that their daddy preaches. Those are the girls who sneak out of the house and get drunk on the weekends and are somehow perfect and pristine when they walk into the church on Sunday morning. The bad kind are the girls who don't have many morals when it comes to sex, and will let a guy do whatever they want whenever they please. That's the kind of answer those boys who ask those questions want.
I am a pastor's daughter. No, not the bad kind. I didn't rebel in college even though I joined a sorority. No, I'm not a goody-two-shoes, but I am a good girl. I love the Lord because that's how I was raised. I don't get drunk on the weekends and I'm never late with due dates. I do everything I can to make sure that my daddy doesn't have to worry about who his daughter is.
Those of you who stereotype us, knock it off. We're not all the same.
