It’s 11:16 A.M. on Friday morning, “Mars: Bringer of War” from Gustav Holst’s “The Planets” blasts through my head phones as I sit in the school library. I spend much of my time between classes here because it’s quiet and there are few distractions, it’s perfect for people like me. I sit here, struggling to decide what should I base the “content” I’m about to “create” on. Five different ideas are bouncing around my racing mind in such a way that correlates perfectly with the menacing bombardment of sounds flowing through my earbuds. I frantically try to navigate my way through this mental firestorm, I say frantically because I only have a few hours left. “A few hours left?”, you ask, yes a few hours until I have to turn my content in for editing.

When you first read “A few hours left” it may have sounded like I had some sort of apocalyptic conquest on my hands. In my mind I do, it’s been four weeks since I received my acceptance as a content creator and I’ve done nothing. I’ve had plenty of time this week to start working on something and it’s very important to me that I finally put my thoughts into something the world can see. Obviously, this is something that’s time sensitive and holds some priority in my mind, so why wait so long to get started? Well, the answer is simple. I’m a habitual pro-, oh wait hold on, I just saw an e-mail notification on my phone and I need to check it real quick, could be the real end of the world you know? Never mind, was just a group-on offer, and I checked Facebook while I was on my phone just in case someone liked one of my political posts. Anyway, like I was saying, and as you can see, I am a habitual procrastinator.

Darude’s “Sandstorm” has now replaced Holst as I take my light jacket off, because writing about doing something last-minute is making me stress and sweat even more than the fact that I’m writing this last minute. One of the biggest issues with procrastination is the stress it can cause. Often we find ourselves feeling helpless about the lack of time we have left ourselves to work on something. Everyone has put off doing things at some point in their life and felt this helplessness, it’s natural. But for a habitual procrastinator the stress begins well before the storm makes landfall.

Think of the work, essay, or project in question as an approaching hurricane, except it is guaranteed to hit land at a specific date and time (due date), and despite having this information you still decide to wait and evacuate a few minutes before the storm hits. Obviously, as you're evacuating you will be stressed and in a panic because of the time shortage and consequences that may await, but the not-so-obvious time of fear occurs during the procrastination. It is during this putting off of responsibility that we feel the most stress. It is like a smoker reflecting on his bad habit as he smokes, or an addict having a moment of clarity while their next fix is on it’s way. Our habit has gotten to the point that it is now a lifestyle that we accept and live with. Instead of only getting stressed at the moment we realize we waited too long, we get stressed as we wait because we know where this path is headed, again. Any happiness is shrouded by the failure that we know is coming. It’s what we’ve always done, and what we will always do. We come to terms with it at last, saying “It’s just how it is”, we give up our freedom and go back to our vector of instant gratification.

I’m not a religious man, but if hell is a place it might be located in the rut that constant procrastination will leave you in. The great actor Denzel Washington once said in an interview, “I’d be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I had. I’d be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.” A habitual procrastinator has these same fears, they are the flame that burns us from the inside out because we can’t escape the walls comprised of excuses, past failures, and that acceptance of future failures. When you procrastinate everything in your life, you will find that it is all you think about. Even times where you should be enjoying yourself will be tainted by the failures that have not yet occurred. As I write these thoughts I should be excited and relieved by the idea of accomplishing this goal of transmitting my feelings to the world, yet my excitement and optimism is hindered. When I should be looking forward to what is next, I am caught in the snare of the other things I have procrastinated that I must finish.

Procrastination will train you to be able to get even the most tedious things done in a short period of time. While this skill may seem valuable, it is the epitome of “a gift and a curse.” Though it’s nice to be able to finish things in short periods of time under pressure, and do a good job, it’s counterproductive if you don’t control the ability. You will begin to assume that you can always wait to the last minute and you will never learn from your mistakes. If you can accomplish such great things at the last minute, imagine what you could do if you gave those same things all of your time.

Even as you start to fight these habits you will see that turning them around is a task that is much easier said than done. Even if you are able to get your life caught up and onto a regular schedule, you still feel fear. You fear falling back into that rut so you begin to have anxiety when you don’t accomplish things immediately. It is good to be aware and stay on top of things but allowing stress to creep back in has at times made me fall back into procrastinating everything.

We all have the tools to stop habitual procrastination within us, what is usually missing is a sense of balance. Yes, it is important to be mindful of due dates and deadlines, but we can’t let their thought crush our spirit. Yes, it is absolutely necessary to remember our failures as a learning tool, but we cannot let those mistakes define us, or how we will act in the future. If you want to transition yourself from constantly procrastinating to being ahead of the game on a regular basis, you must realize that major changes to how you think and prioritize may be necessary, and they definitely will not be easy. Change is equally tough for all people, the difference is some people accept the fight when others run, not knowing that they are only running downhill towards a tougher fight.

If these words mean anything to you, or are relatable in any way, then I challenge you to join this fight and remember- procrastination is in all of us, and is fine in moderation, but too much can be toxic. (Wow that took less than two hours.)