One thing I've learned about being involved in everything is that it is all a balancing act. Your goal is to be a part of everything, maintain deep and meaningful relationships, and manage to stay on top of all the work. It seems good in theory and you may manage to make it look easy, but you are actually at the end of your rope wondering if you can make it through the rest of the day let alone the semester. "Do-it-all kid", I'm right there with ya!
When first stepping on campus about four years ago I told myself that I would not be a part of everything like I was in high school. I told myself, and anyone who would listen, over and over again that this time it would be different. However, I saw 152 things that matched my interests and decided that I had to be a part of all of it. So, my resolution to have a chill college experience lasted maybe a week. So, can't say there is anybody to blame but my inability to say no.
These past three years have been a whirlwind of amazing groups, time spent with many amazing people, and many amazing opportunities. However, each year I was more exhausted and run down than the year before. After the end of each semester, I would promise myself that, "I will rest more and do less next time." However, I always managed to have more on my plate and hoping that I wouldn't die before the end of the semester.
However, you love it. You love the constant state of stressed and the thrill of, "Can you finish your five assignments, two projects, and your job that you probably should not have picked up on the side?" You enjoy the praise from those you work with who claim that they could never do as much as you.
And here we are, senior year almost over and I am sitting on the beach thinking about how crazy life is going to be once I step foot back on campus. Personally, I would love to hide on the beach and stay here until it is all over, but I don't think that will work. I mean after one week of being off campus for a seminary visit and a "work trip to Vegas" I can't complain that I haven't taken a long enough break from school. I also can't leave all of my responsibilities behind forever.
What I can do is take a deep breath. I realized that I haven't been doing that a lot anymore. Looking at my schedule I go from thing to thing with barely enough time to scarf down the leftover spaghetti I was hoping to eat while sitting on my couch doing nothing.
I can't change these past four years- in fact, I wouldn't want to- but I can learn. Next time I make a schedule where I can give myself time to breathe more. I can also have days where I do nothing, but I can still balance doing a little bit of everything. I mean what is the point of life if you aren't living. (I feel like that is some cheesy quote from a Hallmark movie or card so this is me giving them credit for filling my head with cheesy quotes.)
