Sometimes we have bad days and take it out on others. Sometimes we are rude to people we think “have it all.” Sometimes we take our loved ones for granted because perhaps we don’t see that it actually does affect them. It is important to keep in mind what others go through. The following is a list of things I go through, although many don’t see it on the surface.
1. The General Struggle
Most people have struggled in their lifetimes, whether it be because of school, family, financial issues, medical issues, or relationships, maybe even a combination of them all. Whatever it is, most of us have been there. This is why it is important to be mindful when interacting with others. You do not know their story, their life and their current state — so be careful with your words and actions.
2. Being “OK”
Especially during school and midterms, we try to be “OK” so that we can just go on through our week without distraction. Sometimes people do this on a daily basis because it can be hard to describe why you are feeling down, or perhaps you feel embarrassed that you are. Being surrounded by a group of happy people while you are forcing a smile can be difficult, and can even make you feel worse. If you see someone who looks a bit down, give him or her his or her space. If you feel it is appropriate, take them to the side and ask them if they are OK. Being there for someone can really make a difference, and giving him or her his or her space does, too.
3. Exhaustion
Nearly five out of seven days, I am pretending to not be tired. I do this so that I can just be productive rather than continuously thinking about sleep. Also, trying to ignore it helps me actually stay awake. It is not like I stay up late partying or gaming, but because I am either trying to catch up with material, doing homework, or for once trying to read ahead for a class. But even on days where the night before I had enough sleep, I can get exhausted—mostly mentally.
Trying to take in all the information thrown at you in lecture, getting to your next lecture to do it all over again, and not only listen but actually take in the information to then try to understand it takes a lot of mental energy. So much so that after a long day of lectures and transportation, I get extremely tired. When I go home, all I really want to do is sleep — realistically though, I can’t do this. Not only do I need to make dinner at some point, I need to do my outside studying; this is mainly because I do not understand material the first time it is given to me. I have been in situations where people expect me to still be energetic and happy and giddy in the evening, and as much as I try, it’s nearly never the case. When you see someone working hard, try to nurture that. Let them study, have peace and quiet, and encourage them.
4. Chronic Pain
This is not something easily seen, but that doesn’t mean it’s rare. I suffer from a chronic pain condition in which I am in some sort of pain every day, whether it be headaches, sternum pain, or arthritis. I do take painkillers most days, and because I have had it for many years I don’t really complain. However, it does sometimes prevent me from doing certain things such as writing and focusing. If you know someone with this condition, offer to take notes for them or help them whenever needed. I know it has helped me to wear gloves when my hands hurt or sit in a calm environment when my head hurts.
5. I Care About You
As most know, I am a pretty busy person. From classes, working in lab, being a writer for a magazine, peer mentoring, and on occasion trying to further my education in computer programming and dance, there isn’t much time for anything else. I have definitely risked valuable study time, down time, and sleep for my friends. Do I regret it? No, because I would do many things for my friends.
However, I want them to know how busy I am and to be mindful of that. I have been in situations where my friends would get mad at me for not making time for them. Although I see where they are coming from, I wish they understand my side, too. I might not see them or even talk to them often, but I care about them. It is hard to say you care when it seems on the outside I do not put in the effort but truthfully, the little I see them is a lot of effort.
I feel it is very important to follow Ian Maclaren’s quote, “Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” You never know what someone is going through, so be careful and be mindful in how you interact with someone.
