Long live the West Coast-Best Coast, East Coast-Beast Coast debate! Whether there for college, a temporary visit, or a permanent move across the country, the West Coast perplexes us East Coasters...a lot.
Friendly people are absolutely TERRIFYING.
West Coasters are extremely friendly, and it freaks you out so much. Back home, ordering coffee and having the barista try to talk to you while five people are patiently waiting on line makes you feel like America's Most Wanted. After all, you're there for coffee, not small talk, right? Wrong. On the West Coast, Strangers will smile at you or greet you as you walk down the street, and you manage to grimace as you wonder what the heck they want: They're currently plotting my murder, trying to hit on me, or they seriously lack friends...Maybe they're going to try to make me listen to their self-proclaimed FIRE mixtape?
People look at you funny when you use East Coast slang.
You often get frustrated having to repeatedly explain your exotic vocabulary to your college friends. New Yorkers, for example, use mad as an adjective the way Californians use hella. Making fun of someone is called cutting ass on someone. A New Yorker in disbelief asks, "DEADASS?" not "seriously?" or "for real?" If you're a Massachussite, you might say a great movie was wicked, making your West Coast friends wonder why the movie was evil. Occasionally, you might even throw a hella or two around while back home, much to the confusion and discontent of your friends.
West Coasters have strange words for food items.
Donut holes? What are thoooooose?!? They're obviously called Munchkins. What east coasters call a "regular slice" of pizza, the West Coasters call a "cheese slice." This is especially puzzling--don't all pizza's have cheese?
You have a tendency to curse a LOT.
Curse words just get your point and emotion across so well. Your college friends think you might have an anger management problem, but you just tell them that you feel very passionately about everything. You stub your toe--you curse. You feel happy--you curse. You see a cute kid--you curse...oops. You're casually describing something--you curse.
Passive-aggression runs rampant.
East Coast confrontation:
West Coast confrontation:
No one likes to hurt anyone else's feelings on the West Coast, so everyone is pretty much well-versed at "I feel" statements. This is not a thing back east. We don't hold back our feelings, and won't hesitate to confront you about them.
Which might possibly be the cause of why people think East Coasters are rude...
We're actually just bluntly honest--it's a part of our time-efficient M.O.. We don't want to waste your time beating around the bush.
You feel an obligatory bond to anyone from the East Coast.
Even if you don't know them well at all, all that matters is that in your heart of hearts, you think they just get you.
You were not prepared for how outdoorsy West Coasters are.
Who can really blame them, though? It's beautiful out west--from the abundance of beautiful mountains to lush green forests. New York City wildlife is limited to drunk raccoons in our trash (true story), Subway rats, and city-planted trees lining the sidewalks. While your West Coast peers go so hard for rock climbing, skiing, kayaking, and hiking, you attempt to accompany them like Ilana from "Broad City."
You pretty much believed tumbleweeds were mythical products of television, used to emphasize being in the middle of nowhere, until you moved out west.
Yes, they're real.
Casual is taken to the extremes on the West Coast.
You probably were unaware Birkenstocks were so popular until you traveled out west. It is also perfectly acceptable to wear a dress and Birkenstocks to an interview. On the rare occasion that you decide to look like a decent East Coaster, people ask: What are you so dressed up for?
People walk at a seemingly glacial pace.
The West Coast is so chill compared to the East Coast--people walk painstakingly slow. On the East Coast, we strive to be efficient at all times. Our big cities are characterized by the hustle and bustle, the daily work grind, and cutthroat work environments. When we leave home, we have tunnel vision for completing our mission.
The West-Coast severely lacks our food necessities.
Sketchy Chinese takeout places? Nope. Bodegas? Nope. Quality pizza? Barely. Dunkin Donuts? Not a thing here. This person deeply understands how essential Dunkin Donuts is to us:
All in all, despite the major coastal differences, you feel quite glad you traveled out West... You've learned to appreciate the mindfulness that accompanies the slow pace of West Coast living, the deliciousness of West-Coast specific food chains, and quite possibly, you have become a nicer person. No matter what, East Coast pride runs deep, because we know it will always be our beast coast.
