It's August, which means that students across the country have started moving into their new homes for the year. However, students, beware the dangers of a new house/apartment!
1. Your home could have been damaged over the summer. Open the door with care on your first arrival.
2. You could be mauled by a tape measure while trying to put up those cute curtains.
3. The bathroom floor could be plotting with the shower curtain against you.
4. A tupperware army could be waiting to ambush you in the kitchen.
5. Don't even bother with cooking; you'll destroy everything you hold dear.
6. In fact, just go ahead and leave the kitchen. You can only make it worse at this point.
7. You and your roommates will be almost too awkward to function.
8. Attempting to do your laundry will only result in agony and grief.
9. You could break your wrist trying to clean your curtainless windows.
10. Be careful when flinging your sunglasses off outside; the sun may blind you.
11. Additionally, make sure to avoid the pool when throwing your laptop in frustration.
12. And forget about washing your car; the experience would kill you. Just stay inside.
13. Don't try any Pinterest DIY projects, even your trusty hammer will leave holes in the wall.
You may ask, "Why me? What did I do to deserve such a horrible fate?"
"Why can't I ever seem to eat my chips in peace?"
"And OH GOD, WHY IS THIS CABINET MAKING SUCH A HORRIBLE NOISE?"
My advice is to take a few deep breaths and dance in a snuggie. It seemed to work for these people.