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The 7 Stages Of Every Food Coma

Omg! Food is great! Let's eat so much we can't move. Yes, I'm committing the sin of gluttony, but eh.

Tess Kulikowski

Jan 30, 2017

Savannah College of Art and Design

185

Dreamatic

Ah food, one of the most important sources of life. Everyone loves food, and if you don't there is something wrong with you. I love food. Sometimes, you can eat too much food, leaving you paralyzed with lazyness and happiness. There is nothing better to be unable to get out of bed from a full tummy. Here are the steps to having a successful food paralyzing experience.

1. Pick your food

You are in total control of your experience. Feeling like a huge food coma? Pick heavy foods like Chinese food or maybe a chipotle experience. Looking for not as intense of an journey? Grab the candy of your choosing. Right now, I am into Hershey's cookies and creme bars. If you don't like candy: shame on you.

2. Buy lots of whatever you plan to eat.

Pretty straight forward. Stock up for the feast. BUY ALL THAT YOU CAN!

3. Find a space that you can food coma in

The whole point of the food coma is the amazing gravitational pull you feel towards whatever you are sitting on after the eating is over. Pick a couch, a bed, or something really comfy to stuff your face on.

4. EAT

YOU HEARD ME! EAT!

5. Wait for the feeling

Wait for the food to settle. The best part awaits. Be patient. I believe in you.

6. THE FOOD COMA

It's here! The peace that your body feels from being weighed down by all the food is incredible. No thoughts pass through your brain. All you can do is enjoy the full sensation.

7. SLEEEEEPPPPPP

After the best moment of your life, you slowly drift off in to a happy sleep with dreams of milk shakes and such. A high quality nap that I highly recommend. Your journey with the food coma is over, and you can do it all over again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 7 Stages Of Every Food Coma

Omg! Food is great! Let's eat so much we can't move. Yes, I'm committing the sin of gluttony, but eh.

1. Pick your food

2. Buy lots of whatever you plan to eat.

3. Find a space that you can food coma in

4. EAT

5. Wait for the feeling

6. THE FOOD COMA

7. SLEEEEEPPPPPP

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

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13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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