There are three simple words that make just about anyone fall to their knees. Bed. Bath. and Beyond.

Yep, that's right. The wondrous land of joy and extreme couponing. Otherwise known as the store that has everything, BBB is where the heart of the American people lies. As soon as I walk through those automatic doors, I am greeted by a gust of wind and the scent of a Pink Sands Yankee Candle.

Trust me, I know that smell anywhere. Items around every corner lurk in the distance, yet I am naturally attracted to the Tricera-taco Holder hiding on the shelves. I walk around the store and find myself asking, "Do I need this?" as I contemplate the $400 purchase of a Dyson Hair Dryer. Turns out I don't need it. Wait a minute, yes I do. Ugh no, I don't.

As two hours pass before my very eyes, I realize that Bed, Bath, and Beyond isn't just an ordinary home store. It's a vortex where space and time are warped, heads are left spinning, and money is blown out the window. Below are the stages that everyone can relate to when stepping foot into a Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

1. Pure excitement.

Just the thought of entering the store and coming face to face with THE Copper Chef™ 5-Piece Deep 9.5-Inch Square Pan Set sends shivers down my spine.

2. Black out and forget what you came for.

It's pretty overwhelming, in a good way, but as soon as I step foot in there I forget everything I ever knew. Did I come for a toothbrush holder or a $150 Humana garbage can? I don't know anymore.

3. Lose yourself in the throw pillow section.

Hold on I'm literally redecorating my room in my head as we speak.

4. End up in an unwanted conversation with a BBB employee about their selection of teas.

I was just smelling for fun. Ugh.

5. Contemplate buying one of those vegetable food cutters.

Looks like it could be a lot of fun!

6. Realize you've been in the store way too long.

*Spongebob Voice* Two. Hours. Later...

7. Grab what you think you came for and check out.

Yep, I'm broke.

8. GET OUT OF THERE. NOW.

Run. As fast as possible. Never look back.

9. Realize you forgot to use your coupons.

Every. Time.

Yep, sounds about right.