You meet people in college and it’s easy to think you’ll always be together. You become fast friends. And you quickly turn into best friends. You have lived close by for nearly four years. You know everything about each other – the good, the bad and the ugly. You have met your best friend's family and you love them like your own. You do everything together – no matter the hour. Early morning coffee date? Call up your best friend. Afternoon shopping trip? She's ready to go. Late night breakup? As soon as the phone rings, she's on her way over – armed with chocolate and a box of tissues.
So, when the day comes that you and your best friend have to go your separate ways, your emotions are hard to pin down. Whether she is going abroad for the first time or she just got a job offer in a new city, you are about to experience more feelings than you've ever felt. And those emotions will take you on a roller-coaster ride, which I have simplified into six stages:
1. "Oh my gosh, my best friend is AMAZING!"
First, you are jumping up and down. You can't contain your excitement. Your friend calls to tell you all about it and all you can do is smile. A job in New York? A semester in Australia? You think of all the afternoons she'll spend lounging in Central Park with a good book or snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef. You can just see her navigating the subway like a pro. You know she will rock her classes abroad; she'll probably get a promotion at this new job in no time. You spout off encouragement; you almost feel like a proud parent. You make a list of dates of when you plan to visit. You think to yourself, “My best friend is awesome; she's probably going to conquer the world.”
2. "No comment."
Then, others begin asking you what you are going to do without her. You shrug them off. Internally, you begin to deny that it is even happening. You don’t have to answer that question. She’s not really moving, right?
3. "Oh no. My best friend is MOVING?!"
Then it sinks in, and panic ensues. She is moving. Your internal dialogue begins to look a little like this: “How could this happen? She can’t leave me here... alone. The universe can’t separate us; it’s just not right. We are supposed to be best friends forever.”
4. "Leave me alone... I'm sad."
You decide panicking is not good for your health, nor is it helping the situation; but the depression decides to kick in anyway. You might not show it, but internally you are thinking about all of the inside jokes no one else will understand. You start making plans for the new semester. You think to yourself, "I'll just call up.... Oh wait." You catch yourself, and you silently mourn those almost-plans with your BFF.
5. "Watch out New York, I'm coming for ya!"
You don't stay sad for long. You start looking for jobs and internships in her city, and you convince yourself you are moving there too. You begin to dream about decorating the apartment you'll have together. Will the couch be red? No, it'll definitely be pink. You even search Craigslist ads for apartments you can't even move into yet and probably can't afford. But at least you have a plan, right?
6. "It's going to be okay."
And finally you accept it. Yes, you are going to miss her, but in your heart you know the distance is not going to change your friendship – because friendships as strong as yours can make it through anything. So you suck up your own emotions, invest in a better Internet connection, and hope she realizes that she won’t have time to miss you – because you are going to FaceTime her every second of the day.
