If you know anyone who is a film major or a movie buff, chances are they have told you to beware of "the Room." "the Room," is a film by Tommy Wiseau that was released in 2003 and has gone down in history as the WORST film ever to grace celluloid. It is the perfect film to watch if you want to end the summer on a bang or have no soul left to care about watching pure garbage. So my friends and I popped some pop corn, popped in the DVD and watched. It was...something else in the sense that no matter how much you want to forget this movie, it sinks its hooks into you and you CAN'T stop thinking about it. Here are my thoughts on "the Room."
1. "This movie has WAY too many plots."
The basic premise of "the Room" revolves around Johnny (played by Tom Wiseau), a banker who lives with his future life Lisa (played by Juliette Danielle). It turns out Lisa is having an affair with Johnny's best friend Mark (played by Greg Sestero) and Johnny struggles to cope with this betrayal. Sounds simple, right? Nope. This movie is riddled with side plots that make absolutely no sense because they have no impact on the overall narrative. Most memorably, Lisa's Mom gets diagnosed with breast cancer and it's never brought up again. To say you are left with more questions than answers is an understatement.
2. "This CAN'T be only an hour and a half."
As you gathered from the subtitle, this movie was a bit of a drag to say the least. When I looked at the run time on the back, I thought, "Oh no problem, it'll be over before we know it." Nope, this movie has the pacing of a funeral dirge and I swear the run time was an utter lie because I kept looking at the clock. More than an hour and a half definitely went by.
3. "It should be X rated instead of R..."
Okay, I'm going to be as delicate as possible here: you know how Hollywood has been bashed for inaccurate love scenes because they're too romanticized? Well, these scenes were inaccurate because it was obvious Tommy Wiseau has never made love to a woman in his life and has no idea how it works (e.g. they take place in the most uncomfortable places such as a staircase). The most memorable scene in the film is a love scene involving chocolate, but trust me, you'll remember it for all the wrong reasons. And to bring back the pacing issues, there are too many of these bad love scenes that go on for way too long, leaving you feeling uncomfortable and thinking you're watching the wrong kind of movie.
4. "There's only one good actor in the whole thing."
One of the better aspects of this film is the character of Chris R., who runs a drug ring and is part of one of the film's many loose ends where supporting character Denny (Johnny's surrogate son) owes him money. His acting is pretty darn convincing, and it turns out that's because he was trained in the Method style of performing where you embody the character. However, turns out the actor embodied the character a little too well because the gun he points at Denny's head was a real gun.
5. "The green screen is PAINFUL."
You know how some special effects don't age well? This movie is the prime example. The green screen is obviously from the 2000's and it's used for the scenes that take place on the rooftop of Johnny's apartment. It's even more painful when you learn they could have used a real rooftop the whole time and the green screen was unnecessary.
6. "What a waste of money"
GiphyTommy Wiseau not only wrote, produced, directed, and starred in this dumpster fire, he provided all the funding. "The Room" was funded with $6 million of his own personal fortune, which to this day no one knows how he acquired. For such a huge investment, the film grossed only $5800 on its opening weekend and has a 26% on Rotten Tomatoes.
7. "I can't believe this film has a cult like Rocky Horror...but I get why now."
Yep, you read that right. "The Room", one of the worst films ever made, has a cult following the size of "the Rocky Horror Picture Show" cult following. There are midnight screenings of "the Room" at midnight nation wide. Fans yell lines right along with the actors and throw spoons at the screen because of the hard to miss framed photos of spoons in Johnny's apartment. Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero have been known to show up at these screenings to sign autographs and host Q and A's. Which begs the question, what is "the Room's appeal?' My answer is because the film asks for such a suspension of disbelief, that you're left in shock.
So you tell your friends to check it out and delight over the fact you have someone to share the pain with. You will also laugh for all the wrong reasons and that makes the film a double threat: nothing bonds people like pain and laughter. This has been called the Citizen Kane of bad films for a reason, and it must be seen to be believed.
