The Rio Olympics In The Words Of Michael Scott
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The Rio Olympics In The Words Of Michael Scott

Why are you the way that you are?

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The Rio Olympics In The Words Of Michael Scott
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I love, love, love the summer Olympics. That period of two weeks when three things occur: the world unites, Bob Costas slides into your NBC dm’s, and, for a minute, the U.S. remembers that synchronized diving is a sport. Oh, and of course the commercials actually inspire rather than irritate you. (Except for the P&G Thank You Mom ones, which invoke a bitter apology to your own mother that you are not a 19-year-old gymnastics phenom like Simone Biles.)

Needless to say, the 2016 Rio games are living up to expectation. Russian doping scandals, Zika-viruses, polluted water, what could be better?

Highlights include Michael Phelps’ yearly Olympic medal count completely demolishing my life-long medal count for anything I have participated in ever. Meanwhile, Ryan Lochte’s hair and lane next to Phelps in the 200-meter medley make me feel slightly better about my life.

Elsewhere, 16-year-old Sydney McLaughlin is shattering my entire life’s accomplishments up to this point simply by being in the Olympics, and Allyson Felix’s abs are making me question whether I should have eaten that 3rd Samoa girl scout cookie yesterday instead of doing my 400-repeat workout on the track.

But again, I do love the Olympics. They are a time of inspiration, of motivation, and of Michael-Scott-like reactions on behalf of us regular spectators.

Me, after watching:

Katie Ledecky shatters the 800 free record in the pool, beating the second place finisher by a casual 11 seconds.


Katie Ledecky’s interview afterward, saying “I think I did pretty well.”

Aly Raisman’s crying finish on her floor routine to lock the silver medal in the women’s All-Around

Aly Raisman’s parents watching her perform.



Russian gymnast Aliya Mustafina’s facial expressions during the women’s All-Around

Kerri Walsh Jennings in her uniform

U.S. women’s soccer losing to Sweden in penalty kicks


U.S. Swimmer Lilly King wagging her finger at the Russian drug cheat Yulia Efimova, and then kicking her ass in the 100-meter breaststroke




The U.S. men's swim team winning gold in the 4x100-meter relay

Michael Phelps' standing ovation every time he swims

Michael Phelps’ baby


Usain Bolt nonchalantly glimpsing over his shoulder at the guy behind him during the 100-meter prelims to decide how much he actually needed to try.

Some random guy from South Africa winning the men’s 400 meter-run in Lane 8


Allyson Felix loosing the 400-meter run after some Bahamian girl dove across the finish line to take gold


Simone Biles. In general.



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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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