The image of a burning flag is evocative for most Americans. For some, it stirs in them a deep resentment, an anger that someone would disrespect the symbol of their freedom, a hurt that someone would damage the flag their troops fought for. In others, it incites a deep passion, a pride in the person who is challenging the established inequalities of their nation, a rebellious excitement for a voice deciding to be heard.

What continues to amaze is that these two cannot understand that the other loves their country. When someone burns a flag – or, perhaps, refuses to stand for the National Anthem at a football game live on NFL Sunday – they face an almost obscene amount of backlash. They are accused of being unpatriotic. Yet, are they not exercising the exact freedom that the troops they are “disrespecting” fought for?

(Side note: while there is societal debate about whether burning a flag is free speech, it was legally decided by the Supreme Court in Texas v. Johnson in 1989.)

Merriam-Webster defines patriotism simply: love that people feel for their country. On the surface, this may sound uncomplicated. You love something, so you fight for and protect it at all costs. However, it is much deeper than that.

Think of the other things that you love in your life. Your family. Your friends. Your significant other. Think of how much you want to care for and help that person to grow. That feeling, translated as it can be for a country, is what patriotism is supposed to be. But our national definition of patriotism has become skewed.

We, as a society, have defined national pride as an unabashed devotion to our country. What this results in, however, is the overlooking of that country’s flaws. The people who are willing to call out a protestor for being unpatriotic are the same people who would refuse to admit that the issue they are protesting exists in the first place.

Allow us to consider Colin Kaepernick as our case study. In protest of police brutality against black males in America, the 49ers quarterback chose to refrain from standing during the National Anthem (something he had done prior to the first time it was reported). What followed was online chaos. Between calls for him to be removed from the roster and #VeteransForKaepernick, we were a nation pretty well divided. However, the main criticism of the football player was consistent: he was disrespecting the men and women who had fought to protect his free way of life.

These claims assumed, first and foremost, that Kaepernick meant any disrespect to American troops. They also ignored what he was protesting and that he had the right to. By spurring the conversation to whether or not he was disrespectful, we managed to avoid the brokenness that he was pointing out in a nation that we say we love.

And if you really love something, you admit when it is broken. You admit when it needs fixing. And you fix it.