I rarely had the chance to come out myself. In a world where people usually respect your wishes to come out on your own time, mine was the opposite. Spiteful people have taken my confidence in them and used it as leverage in their game against me. It usually went with me telling one of my friends, who then felt she could trust her friend, which then resulted in everybody knowing.
But there was something easier about letting people out me. Because it took a month or so to get out, people took the time to know me first before they found out and didn’t portray their stereotypes on me. If I never mentioned my sexuality first, they would see it was because it wasn’t a defining part of myself and I saw no reason why it mattered.
I say this mainly because straight people see us differently when they no longer see us as straight. Their perception changes and you become more feminine and fitted to the stereotype. A lot of gay people know exactly what I’m talking about. We are used to it, but usually, we spend all our time proving them wrong or just making them see that sexuality isn’t linked to our defining personalities or emotions.
You can’t stop people from talking, I know that well. You can, however, choose to see the benefits of what is being done to you. I could ask people to keep it a secret, to not see me differently, or get to know me better all I want. But, I feel that it is better to let the people in your life that would judge you the most get to know you before they actually know you. That way, you can prove to them that gay people aren't a stereotype, we are individuals who are sick of being labeled.
