It's about that time of year again. The days grow longer, the flowers are blooming, and engagement announcements are bombarding Facebook timelines. Scrolling through the comment sections on these announcements, I can't help but notice that more of them read, "OMG! When's the wedding! I can't wait to come dance/party/celebrate!" rather than a simple "Congratulations!"
But, who said all these people were invited in the first place? This is social media and personally, I'm friends with a lot of people that I don't really know. By this, I am referring to friends from middle school and relatives that I haven't spoken to in over half a decade.
Sorry, not sorry, but if you're one of those people...don't look for an invite in the mail when I get married.
Obviously, there are people who want to invite everyone they've ever met and their mothers to their weddings, and that's totally fine. Huge weddings and huge bridal parties with 15 bridesmaids look like a lot of fun. But, that's not for me and I'm not the only one who feels that way.
If the happy couple invites you, feel honored. If they don't, that's okay too. It really isn't about you. A lot of people want smaller weddings or destination weddings where a guest list of 300+ people isn't feasible. Keeping the guest list small means that mom's crazy sister who you haven't seen since that one family vacation when you were two probably isn't going to make the cut and dad's old buddies from work won't either.
Maybe these people will be invited, but that's not mom and dad's decision. A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of the love two people have for each other. This is not an excuse for your old friends and relatives that you've secretly hated your entire life to have access to an open bar and a dance floor. Yet, the internet seems to think it is.
I've seen so many people on social media lately inviting themselves to weddings and then complaining about them afterward. It literally does not matter how close you are to the bride and groom. They are not obligated to invite you. Period. This is their special day, not yours.
Being friends with someone or even being related to them does not guarantee that you will be in or even be invited to the wedding. More importantly, when you are invited to a wedding, do not assume that the bride and groom want your input on every decision.
I actually saw a woman on Facebook last week say that there is no excuse to ever not have an open bar at a wedding. She argued that if the bride and groom don't drink, it's rude to force that decision on their guests and that they deserve to have free alcohol since they traveled to celebrate the wedding. She took things even further, saying that a recovered alcoholic should be able to control themselves enough to provide alcohol for their friends and family. This is absurd.
It is 2018. This wedding season, let's all agree to act like rational human beings who are happy for their loved ones regardless of what role we are invited to have in their wedding. Furthermore, let's respect the boundaries of the bride and groom and not insert ourselves into every wedding planning conversation.
If you aren't the one paying for it, then you literally have zero say. Zero. If you are helping to foot the bill, one would assume that you love the bride and groom enough to be okay letting them pick their own venue and flowers. The world will not end if your daughter doesn't want to wear your browning wedding dress from the eighties or if your son isn't interested in that "amazing" venue that you found last week.
Stop inviting yourself to weddings and stop forcing your opinions on brides and grooms. If they're old enough to get married, then they're old enough to make their own decisions about their wedding. Please note that when I say "old enough to get married" I am referring to the legal age permitting marriage, not what you think is an appropriate age to get married.
