College culture often facilitates grinding hard - pulling all nighters to study or complete assignments or filling your schedule with classes and meetings that turn into 12 hour days. And most notably, college students talk about it - All the time. I have witnessed friend groups that are only bonded by their common experience of being too busy or stressed to function. But this is not healthy. Furthermore, this mindset perpetuates the idea that people need to "do" lots of things in order to reach be happy or fulfilled. However, the difference between this myth and reality is that life is not always fair. And unfortunately, just because you study hard, procrastinate and then get work done just in time, does not mean that the world will work in your favor.

This idea of "doing" also perpetuates the idea that you are naturally lacking something and needing to get more from sources other than yourself - yet another myth. What if I told you,"you are whole on your own"? And not in the cheesy voice that you may have initially read that line in. But rather the thought that your opportunities and moments of pure joy will happen if you simply are you in each and every moment in time. "Being" does not mean stop doing. Nor does "being" mean to be stagnant. However as you experience more life and grow from those experiences, you will attract the opportunities that are meant for you.

I know that for me, I was fed that in the process of "being" or "becoming" (to reference Michelle Obama) myself, I thought that I would know more about myself and have more information about the world. If this was the case for you also, I would like to debunk this theory. I would argue that "being" and "becoming" does not necessarily mean that you know more about yourself. Because that means that you do not know yourself to begin with. However, the knowledge about yourself could stem from knowing what you are not and acting in accordance to that. However, this distinction only comes from personal discernment. Some may say it is from God. But there has been a situation when you have felt in your gut that this is not for you. Well guess what? You're right.

Each life encounter can offer insight into who you are, if you let it. And the even more beautiful (and sometimes frustrating) part about "being" is that it is an ever changing process. Do I believe that it is smart to eat cookies for every meal? No. But when I was little, I did. And there is nothing wrong with that. Evolution is a beautiful process in which each season prepares you for the next while gaining wisdom along the way. So with this mindset, there is no need to check the boxes of the biological clock that might tell you to get good grades, so you can get a good job, have a good marriage, raise good kids to follow in your successful footsteps - all by the age of 30. But if you can acknowledge that your timing is inherently perfect, regardless of your preconceived notions of how things should be - then you can faithfully "be" who you are.