I was walking into a store the other week and a lady walking towards me stopped and looked at me and stated, "I just wanted to let you know that you look beautiful in that dress."
That morning I woke up, threw my hair into a bun, picked a sweater dress off my bedroom floor and put on the first pair of shoes I saw. I looked in the mirror and sighed to myself. I thought, "Man, I am not just not having a good looking day today."
Similarly, in the past few weeks, I was told, "your hair looks so good today! (on a day I threw it half-up), you look like you are losing weight (after crying the night before because I was not comfortable in my own skin), I appreciate you and the effort you are putting in (after venting to someone else that I was tired of trying so hard). Every compliment I remember who said it, and when and where it was said. Every compliment put a smile on my face.
Think about the last time somebody said something nice to you, out of the blue. Stop, close your eyes and recall that moment. How did it make you feel? Did it change your day at all? Because after that moment in the parking lot, my day changed . It is remarkable how one positive remark can change the psyche. Now think about the last time you did something, got dressed up for someone/some place, worked really hard to accomplish a task and you went unrecognized. I probably do not have to express how that can also change your day.
I recently resigned from a job to take a new position. A job where, in my eyes, I put 110% in. I knew in my heart I impacted, for the better, the work place. When I notified my superior about my departure the words that uttered from her mouth were, "Your door closed so now someone else's can open." Those words will stick with me forever. There is a quote that says, "A boss wants to pay for results; an employee wants recognition for effort. If a boss recognizes effort, they will get even better results" I was constantly reminded when I began my career that, "at the end of the day, your boss is your boss, not your friend." While that is true and I knew that when leaving my job, I did not expect the response I received. I am a teacher. If you are reading this and you are a teacher or know someone who is, you know teaching is much more than a transfer of knowledge. Was I expecting a goodbye party from my boss? No. I was hoping for a thank you. See, while in that district I ran fundraisers, partnered with a charity to sponsor our students, ran workshops, voluntarily tutored students after work hours, got accepted for grants for my classroom, and spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars to decorate my classroom and supply school materials for my students. Not once did I receive a thank you from my boss. Not once was I recognized for my efforts.
It took me five interviews, many crying nights, anxiety, and a lot of back and forth thoughts about looking to advance my career elsewhere. I was searching for a new district, while in a new position in my current district and while in graduate school. I felt like a failure more often than not. The few "I'm proud of you" or "you are doing great" comments I received here and there, pushed me to keep going. Not receiving those remarks can seriously diminish someone's self-esteem.
It is not selfish; it is not a matter of pride; it is not immature, to want to be recognized. Human beings absolutely need respect and affection from everyone around them.
Recently, I was sitting in my classroom before school started. A coworker walked in and said to me, "I wanted to make sure I talked to you before you leave. I wanted you to know that you will be greatly missed. I want you to know you made this school a better place. You are the kind of teacher this district needs, and we are sad to see you go." She went on to say how teaching is not a job it is a vocation. It is a calling. She told me that my calling was to teach and it is evident I do not teach for the paycheck, I teach from my heart. When she walked out of the room, I cried. It felt truly incredible to know someone appreciated me and my efforts.
It's easy to get lost in the autopilot nature of our own lives.
Most of us are moving at such a rapid pace, focused on what we need and what we want that we neglect to truly recognize and appreciate others around us. But when we take the time to be present with people and pay homage to something about them, we can, in turn, create a positive environment, motivate others, and increase happiness.
I encourage you today, and everyday, make a habit of complimenting. Let someone know you like their outfit, you are proud of them, you enjoyed their presentation, you appreciate their work. Believe me, it does not go unnoticed.
