As a teenager, I used to stay in front of the TV and watch all the basic girl shows that depicted the natural image of friendship and girl groups. These shows consisted of "Sex in the City," "Girlfriends," or even movies like "Waiting to Exhale." These kinds of friendships are what I wanted. I mean why not, all these shows had one thing in common; powerful, independent, beautiful women that all supported each other through the good and the bad.
In high school, I could honestly look back and say I had no idea what it took to develop a true and honest friendship. Being young and not truly knowing who I was completely, prevented me from knowing and being a good friend. At this time in your life your surrounded by cattiness and drama and other girls who are lost. I guess this is why most friendships that develop in high school have a high probability of failure. So naturally, after witnessing all the fights and drama my friendship goals of wanting to be in a good friendship group disappeared and I became apprehensive towards the idea of growing with other females. It wasn't until my best friend made things aware to me on what the true definition of a friend is an how to apply that definition, is when I took it seriously, and thank god I did. First rule of friendship, To have a friend you just be a friend.
Now I have a TRIBE. For those who don't understand what a tribe is, it's a community. I am surrounded by, in my opinion, some of the most strong, independent, goal-setting, fun, fabulous, inspiring, beautiful black women I know. I know that without a doubt any one of these women within my tribe are not afraid to uplift me with the absence of jealousy and criticize me without the presence animosity. They have all accepted their roles in my life and want nothing but to contribute to my happiness, and I have accepted my role to do the same for each one of them. This is a true definition of friendship. I need each one of them for different reason and their purpose for me is real. Where would I be without my tribe? Granted friends come and go, however I believe my tribe is here to stay.
I've recently noticed that in today's time there is this epidemic of not needing friends. That having a group of female friends is seen as negative and can't perpetuate nothing but drama and energy that's not needed. It's like a wide spread campaign against women growing together and it really bothers/ amuses me. It has been scientifically proven that no one wants to be alone. As humans we need support,we need friends, so for this campaign to be so widespread is actually crazy. I think back to what if I would have allowed social media to influence my decision like so many other women I know when it comes to having friends. I would probably not be were I am today. It's not okay to not have friends, let's stop normalizing being alone.
Get a tribe, surround yourself with women who support you through your emotional days, your breakups, when you want to be crazy, or when you just want to simply have fun. Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better you. The saying is true " birds of a feather, flock together" so get like minded friends that will be there through the good the bad and the ugly and will love you no matter what. I did and it's the best thing I've could've done for myself.
So special shout out to my tribe I don't tell you guys enough but thanks for being who you are and accepting me without consequence, you are truly appreciated!
