With the premiere of "The Walking Dead" this Sunday, I thought it would be beneficial to write about the positive aspects of the zombie apocalypse. The zombie apocalypse wouldn’t necessarily be a happy event, but there are some favorable aspects within the return of the undead. I mean, there wouldn’t be so many multimillion-dollar franchises if the zombie apocalypse wasn’t cool in some ways.
One of the positive aspects of the zombie apocalypse would be that you wouldn’t have to shower. I mean, who has time to shower when you are fighting the undead? Plus, if you did have time and lived in a small, zombie-free oasis, you would hopefully be conserving the clean water for drinking and cooking. In addition to not showering, no one really cares what you look like because they are either a mindless zombie or running for their lives. Therefore it would be unnecessary to put on makeup, style your hair, or somehow squeeze into those skinny jeans. You can show off those comfortable running shoes, thick work pants and a soft t-shirt covered in zombie brains.
Another interesting part of the zombie apocalypse would be free stuff. I mean, everything in a sense would be free. With the undead walking, well, shuffling, around in the streets, no store-owner in their right mind would stay in the store. You could walk into Costco or Fred Meyer and take all of the supplies you need, if you weren't eaten by zombies. You could walk into the Nike store and stock up on all the amazing running shoes, because you will probably need them as soon as you put them on. You wouldn’t have to stand in any lines; just walk (maybe run) inside grab the supplies needed for camp and then walk (well, run) out again.
The third encouraging aspect would be that killing and running from zombies would be an amazing workout. The calories an individual burns through running for their life is quite astonishing. Whether your weapon of choice is a baseball bat or an axe, it would be an intense arm workout as you swing repeatedly to kill a single zombie. It would be leg day every day, running a couple miles each day and by the end of the zombie apocalypse your legs will look great (if you survive). No need for an expensive gym membership while living within a post-zombie-apocalyptic world, the outside world is your intense, adrenaline-fueled gym.
One of the greatest aspects of a zombie apocalypse would be that there's fewer people, therefore your odds of finding a date have dramatically increased. I highly doubt any serious relationships or marriages would be occurring, because the rate of their death has also increased dramatically. However, it would be nice to have someone watching your back (literally so a zombie doesn’t kill you). Also after a long day of fighting and scavenging, having someone being really excited to see you not only because you brought back food but also because you didn’t die. After killing zombies all day, I bet it would be nice to cuddle up and sleep while your significant while other takes watch. Also the probability of running into your ex in undead form is high as well, which means time for batting practice with their head. Or that person who never called you back, well here is your chance to chop of their zombie head. In addition to having a new relationship, you can lob off the head of your ex and not go to prison for life.
In the end, the zombie apocalypse wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses, but there are some silver linings. Plus, who wouldn’t want to kill a few zombies (especially if it is someone that you never really enjoyed before they became a brainless zombie)? Hopefully a zombie apocalypse will not occur, but if it does ,we have some things to look forward to.
