Even though The Office characters are over-the-top and almost unbelievable for the most part, something about them is weirdly relatable. Whether it’s because we are all a little over-the-top on the inside or can relate to working with some interesting characters, even the most boring personas from the show (looking at you, Gabe) have worked their way into our hearts. Some of the characters may be better off being paper salesmen, regional managers or accountants, but one can’t help but imagine what they’d be like in a classroom.
1. Michael Scott
Dr. Scott is the head of his department, which is probably that of the least popular major. He teaches the intro classes of his department and spends over half of the class either talking about his weekend plans or trying to convince everyone to pick him for their advisor. Definitely has a meltdown every time a student corrects him in class and will offer extra credit if you hang out with him during office hours. Was put on suspension for inappropriate jokes of a “sexual nature” during class.
2. Jim Halpert
Professor Halpert cancels class once a week, and the classes he doesn’t cancel he teaches with a Powerpoint for notes and makes his TA teach it. Every girl has a crush on him, but the only person on campus he has eyes for is his wife, Professor Beesly. Drops your lowest exam grade.
3. Pam Beesly
She’s the sweetest professor on campus and getting a spot in her class is basically winning the lottery. To some people she may seem a little stiff, but she provides the best feedback in the nicest way. Professor Beesly is the type of professor that convinces people to go into her major without even trying.
4. Dwight Schrute
Although he has never had a single student attend his office hours, he is infamous around campus for having the dean breathing down his neck for his aggressive teaching tactics. Sponsors the outdoor survivalist club. Only allows one absence in his class before he drops your grade ten points.
5. Kelly Kapoor
Professor Kapoor is overly involved in the sororities on campus and known for having random meltdowns in class. Rumored to be having a fling with her TA, teaches Business Administration and Public Relations classes and always requires papers and presentations to be centered around pop culture.
6. Ryan Howard
Ryan is the TA that never has your papers graded on time and spends an uncomfortable amount of time flirting with his supervisor, Professor Kapoor. Supposedly graduated from the business program at your college, but had a brush with cocaine and fraud and couldn’t find a job outside of being a TA through his connections at your university. Gives pretty girls good grades on bad papers and leaves his number in the header.
7. Phyllis Vance
Runs a home ec club on campus and only teaches one class a semester. Drops your lowest exam grade, brings cookies to the midterm and doesn’t take attendance, but if you cross her, you will never make above a C on any of her assignments again. Always ends class early.
8. Kevin Malone
Teaches upper level accounting classes and no one’s quite sure how he got through graduate school. Usually eating during class and always makes the class laugh, even when he’s not trying to. Doesn’t take attendance or post your grades online because he doesn’t know how to use the website.
9. Angela Martin
Head of the religious studies department and has been spotted around campus with the weird professor who runs the outdoor club even though she’s supposedly married to a professor at Cornell. Has never been seen smiling. Visibly frowns at girls who come to class in their pajamas.
10. Creed Bratton
Creed is a sociology professor, but rumor has it that he never actually attended college. Was put on leave two years ago for explicitly describing how to grow marijuana in a dorm room without getting caught.
Before writing this article, I thought my college life was stressful. After writing it, re-reading it and imagining going to this hypothetical university, I feel a lot more relaxed that I’ll never have to take academic advice from Dwight Schrute. I hope you feel the same.
