I knelt down next to the sink. One hand holding the cabinet while one found its way to the floor. I turned around and laid flat on my back on the shag carpet. I looked up to the ceiling. The air conditioner blew on my face as I stared into the florescent lights that illuminated the bathroom. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Are you OK?" I asked myself. "No, I'm not OK," I responded in an upfront manner. "Will you be OK?" "Oh yes, I'll be just fine." "And why will you be OK?" "Because I have Jesus." For that brief moment, my frown turned into a ridiculous smile. I opened my eyes again to see that I was laying down on a bathroom floor, talking to myself. No, I didn't hit a breaking point, and no, I have no idea why I was compelled to lay on the dirty bathroom floor. But I do know, in that very moment, Jesus was all I needed (Hence why the crazy smiling). I got up off the bathroom floor, brushed the lent off my body, looked at myself in the mirror and crazy smiled again.

I know it sounds maybe ridiculous, but I really needed that moment on the bathroom floor. As a 22 year old beginning life, I was recognizing that I wasn't ask joyful as I had been in high school. i couldn't figure out what made me so sad. I kept questioning about why I wasn't joyful, but then I realized that the only reason I wasn't happy was because during college, Christ had never been enough for me. I looked for fulfillment in friends, church, boyfriends, all to be let down. In that moment I was determined that I would decide my own fate from then on; Jesus would be the one to give me joy. The night I laid on the bathroom floor was an odd one; however, that night changed my life.